Boosted by the 7-2 rout over Teachers Union the previous
week, the Farangutans took to the Hang Dong field in buoyant mood.
Unfortunately success does not seem to be driving recruitment. In our dark days
of adversity we often had twenty players turning up, all eager to show off
their Zidane-like skills, but now, with a Champions League spot beckoning, we
are reduced to press-ganging supporters into donning the infamous bright green
kit. The latest unsuspecting player to pull on the ever so flattering strip was
John Routledge, teacher and questionable video aficionado, who managed to last
one half before he collapsed on the sidelines muttering “I used to be a
However, he did manage to be part of an eventful half during
which the foreign boys in green had the indignity of receiving their first red
card of the campaign. Family man, Dave ‘Hands of God’ Percy, leapt like a
salmon in a lineout to catch the ball two handed near Mae Raming’s goal and
was instantly given his marching orders. Confusion reigned as he complained he
was pushed in the back when he jumped, but the referee was having none of it.
The tragedy was compounded when the dastardly Ramings scored from a corner
after a rare defensive error. The new keeper, Kiwi Chris, was left with no
chance as the ball bobbled over the line.
The shocked and stunned Farangutans became more determined
than ever to avenge the injustice, although James ‘public enemy number one’
Farrell, caused a few hearts to flutter when he was involved in a running
battle which saw him and his adversary yellow carded. But then, lady luck
beamed down on the perspiring foreigners when a Mae Raming player received a
second yellow for hacking down the Latin Lothario, Chico and another red card
swiftly followed when one of their players attempted a kung-fu lunge at
Farangutan golden boy, Shawn.
The half ended at 1-0 but there was a renewed sense of
purpose in the expat ranks as Tim, fresh from addressing the HIV conference in
Bangkok, combed his flick on the sidelines and young gun Bryan poised to join
With an emphasis on attack the boys in green pressed forward
determined to avenge their defeat at the feet of Mae Raming earlier in the
season. Their nine man opponents were visibly shaken at the onslaught and a
goal swiftly followed. In an all too familiar story of this season, the goal
came from Bryan’s head after a free kick from Rick. Such is their
understanding they have been called the Simon and Garfunkel of the team,
although suspicions remain that this is because of Bryan’s Art Garfunkel
hairstyle rather than any telepathic partnership.
However, the game was far from won and it looked as if any
score would be invalid when in the middle of the half the referee decided he
had had enough. Following a verbal lashing from Mae Raming’s number nine, the
beleaguered referee declared that he was going home. And it was only after much
cajoling and soothing arms around the shoulder that he agreed to carry on.
Chris’s goal was not to be violated a second time however, as Warren ‘Bully
Baxter’ Howe and Brazilian beefcake Leandro out-muscled their opposing
forwards time after time. A colossal struggle was nearly decided at the death
though, when the normally deadly Chico raced through on goal, but their keeper
made a dramatic double save to ensure the points were shared at 1-1.
The previous week was an altogether different story as the
Farangutans ran out easy 7-2 winners against a depleted Teachers Union team.
The game marked fans favourite Simon’s long awaited return from injury but he
lasted only three minutes before being replaced by Big Jim, the oldest player
in green at 48. But his silky skills belied his advancing years and the
youthful legs of Chico and Bryan benefited from his pin-point passes. Speedy
Gonzalez Chico was in top form as he scored a superb hat-trick, including a
curled shot into the top corner from the edge of the area and a cheeky chip
over the keeper near the finish. However, he was upstaged by Mick ‘Julius
Caesar’ Davies who turned up for the second half and managed to score three
goals despite chants from the crowd about being a part-time player. The other
goal was scored by blonde, Gazza look-a-like, James, who kept his teenage fan
club happy with a well taken strike.
The next few weeks see the Farangutans hosting a German team
from Bangkok and welcoming back Mark Defleur from his European expedition.
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