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Disgusted TV viewer upset over rap lyrics

Disgusted TV viewer upset over rap lyrics

Dear Editor,
Imagine my horror, while watching Mary Poppins on cable TV, to be assaulted in the commercial break by a stream of oral filth the like of which I have never heard, even in all my years as a playground supervisor in East Finchley.
‘What is that?’ I exclaimed.
‘It’s rap,’ declared my daughter Tabatha, who is semi-mentally challenged through no fault of her own and apt to repeat things she’s hears at inappropriate moments, especially, which can be embarrassing, while I am delivering my sermon at Saint Mary’s Merciful Mission every Sunday. (All financial donations welcome).
As any dutiful mother would, I rushed across the room to cover Tabatha’s ears, inadvertently slipping on my highly polished and bruising floor and irreparably laddering a pair of my best tights in the process, but before I could get to her Mary and Dick were back preparing to fly a kite. Incidentally, I read that the term kite flying has attained some kind of sordid and perverted double meaning. Really, is nothing sacred? Anyway, I’m sure Julie Andrews wouldn’t have known that when she made the film.
I have now written to the cable TV company fifteen times to complain and am yet to receive a reply. I am beginning to suspect they don’t speak the Queen’s English. I have even complained to the management of my condominium and got short shrift. So in desperation I am turning to The Chiangmai Mail, which I hope and pray is a bastion of virtue in these morally benighted parts, with the request that you advise all responsible mothers, and even mothers to be, to keep a frisky finger hovering over the mute button on the remote control in case rap music should raise its ugly head in the sanctity of your own otherwise, I am sure, sterile living room.
May the Lord shower his blessings on you all.
Edna Gosling,
(semi-retired)