Disgusted TV viewer upset over rap lyrics
Imagine my horror, while watching Mary Poppins on cable TV, to be assaulted
in the commercial break by a stream of oral filth the like of which I have
never heard, even in all my years as a playground supervisor in East
‘What is that?’ I exclaimed.
‘It’s rap,’ declared my daughter Tabatha, who is semi-mentally challenged
through no fault of her own and apt to repeat things she’s hears at
inappropriate moments, especially, which can be embarrassing, while I am
delivering my sermon at Saint Mary’s Merciful Mission every Sunday. (All
financial donations welcome).
As any dutiful mother would, I rushed across the room to cover Tabatha’s
ears, inadvertently slipping on my highly polished and bruising floor and
irreparably laddering a pair of my best tights in the process, but before I
could get to her Mary and Dick were back preparing to fly a kite.
Incidentally, I read that the term kite flying has attained some kind of
sordid and perverted double meaning. Really, is nothing sacred? Anyway, I’m
sure Julie Andrews wouldn’t have known that when she made the film.
I have now written to the cable TV company fifteen times to complain and am
yet to receive a reply. I am beginning to suspect they don’t speak the
Queen’s English. I have even complained to the management of my condominium
and got short shrift. So in desperation I am turning to The Chiangmai Mail,
which I hope and pray is a bastion of virtue in these morally benighted
parts, with the request that you advise all responsible mothers, and even
mothers to be, to keep a frisky finger hovering over the mute button on the
remote control in case rap music should raise its ugly head in the sanctity
of your own otherwise, I am sure, sterile living room.
May the Lord shower his blessings on you all.