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Book Review

Book Review: by Lang Reid

The politically (in)correct guide to sex

“The politically (in)correct guide to sex” (ISBN 978-974-7313-84-0, published by IQ Inc, September 2007) has been compiled by Swedish sexologist Professor Ruud Organ, and if you believe all that, then you are also nervously awaiting Santa Claus. Have you really been a good boy this year, or have you been guilty of some of the ‘naughty things’ in the good Professor’s book?
“Professor Ruud” begins by stating the he is a great proponent for the equality of the sexes. He is all for being approached by women, taken to dinner and wined and dined and having doors opened for him. One gets the feeling, that the Ruud Professor would come under the heading of an ‘easy lay’, given the right surroundings and a bottle of half decent red.
Our erstwhile Professor also suggests foods that are good for increasing your pheromones, and thus your attractiveness to the opposite sex. Amongst those are apples, ginger, pumpkin seeds and ginseng, all items known to produce flatulence. One hopes there is no canceling out effect on windy days (or nights).
How to find a female who might be amenable to the pheromone enriched male’s advances is covered in more than one chapter, where he gives the low-down on how to meet and where. He does also give a warning about meeting free women. “Well not free exactly, as they all cost money eventually.” The good Professor also shows that he has fully researched the subject when he writes about the problems of being in poor shape if trying to pick up women from health clubs, “However, if you are a millionaire, you’ll be top of even the most Bo Derek standard health club lady’s list, even if you look like a sack of garbage and are an eighty year old hunchback with foul smelling breath - money and power being such persuasive aphrodisiacs.” And they don’t have to eat pumpkin seeds.
One chapter I found very amusing was the explanation of terminologies used in Lonely Hearts columns, such as “Thirties – one hour off 40 at the time of advertising” and “Old Fashioned Girl – OK if you like senior citizens: teeth falling out, incontinence, large pink bloomers with elastic around the legs. Depends on what you’re into.”
Professor Organ seems to have something of a fetish for the large pink bloomers with elastic round the legs as they also get a mention in the chapter on growing old, as in you know you’re getting too old for sex when… One wonders if the young Ruud stumbled into his mother’s bedroom and caught Mama in the underwear.
A cheap book of laughs at B. 290, available at DK Books and all good ‘naughty’ book outlets. Would make a great Xmas stocking filler for those with an ‘adult’ sense of humor. This is not a book for children, even if it does explain in some ways how we got them! He does also state on the front cover “Don’t forget to wear a condom” so if you do follow his advice to the letter, the aforesaid ankle-biter problems will never eventuate.