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The Doctor's Consultation: by Dr. Iain Corness
You never had it so good
My mother is in hospital in the
UK. She has been there for three weeks, but she should not be there. Why?
Because she is merely taking up a bed because the doctors in charge of her
case have not yet made a diagnosis, so she must stay in for further tests.
All that sounds quite reasonable, until you find out that to have an
echocardiogram there is a wait of several days, and another wait for the
results. Ditto for the 24 hour Holter monitoring. Ditto for blood tests.
Ditto for anything else.
I do manage to talk to my mother. You ring the hospital and then get the
telephone number of the ward she is in, as they cannot transfer your call,
as there is some problem with the switchboard. Then you ring the ward
directly, and the nurse will give you the telephone number of the phone they
take to the bedside. “But please wait a few minutes, so we can take it to
her while she waits for your call. You’re lucky today, the phone wasn’t
working last week.” So eventually you do get to speak to each other.
In the chat, I find out that mother had a fall while in hospital and has
hurt her hip. She cannot get about and now has to use a Zimmer hopper.
Previously she could walk normally. I asked if she had had an X-Ray of the
hip. Negative.
Now to put you right in the clinical picture, my mother is 91 years old, but
totally with it mentally. However, her skeleton is showing the effects of 91
years on the planet. She has osteoporosis (thinning of the bones) that comes
with age. In a previous fall some years ago, she broke her arm. As my
radiologist son in Australia said when I told him of the latest details on
his grandmother, “Any 91 year old who has a fall on to a hip has a fractured
neck of femur until proved otherwise.”
So I rang the hospital and asked to speak to the doctor looking after her. I
am sure he is a thoroughly nice chap, but it took me two days to manage to
track him down in the hospital, I do hope there were no emergencies also
trying to contact him in that time. He agreed that an X-Ray of the hip would
be in order, so he promised he would arrange it. Of course that took a
couple of days, and the results likewise, but he assures me there was no
fracture. I wish I could have as much faith in his diagnostic ability with
X-Rays as he has. It would have been nice to get the hospital in the UK to
email me the digital X-Rays for my radiologists here to look at, and also to
young Dr. Corness in Australia. Unfortunately, this was not possible, and
the treating doctor did not know if the hospital had an email address. I
shouldn’t complain, as in 1815 when they laid the foundation stone for the
hospital, the UK was a little too busy celebrating the Battle of Waterloo to
worry about emails.
But back to mother occupying a bed in the UK for three weeks. The biggest
hold-up seems to be the fact that the cardiologist hasn’t seen her yet, and
it is he who wants further tests. To bring you right up to date, mother has
had a series of ‘fainting’ attacks causing the falls. I have witnessed one
and the latest was while she was in the hospital, so presumably witnessed by
the nursing staff, even if the doctor was still being elusive. There is a
clear history.
I asked the treating doctor why mother was yet to see the ‘Great Man’ and
was told that he had been on holidays, there was Easter, and there was only
one cardiologist. So mother (and I) are still waiting.
In Thailand, the entire process would have taken three days at the outside.
And I know the NHS is supposedly “free”, but is actually paid for by the
public purse, filled by the taxpayers! With private medicine in Thailand,
you really never had it so good!
Heart to Heart
with Hillary
Dear Hillary,
Tell that English guy who wanted to leave his gal “something to remember
me by” the perfect gift, which, she will love and remember daily, with
affection one hopes, is an English baby - no cost and lasting a
lifetime.
Don
Dear Don,
Aren’t you the nice one! Have you left many gifts of this type yourself?
I am not sure about the “no cost” aspect. There are laws in most
countries, through which the cost factor catches up. There is also the
cost to yourself when the “lasting a lifetime” baby grows up and comes
looking for you. Not such a good plan, Don. By the way, are you a
banker, by any chance? The concept of making a small deposit and watch
it grow definitely has banking overtones.
Hi Hillary,
Your comments to some farangs are interesting, and mostly true; this
American guy who goes to bars and want to have his beer with silence,
has come to wrong city, he should have seen it in first day arrival here
(luckily he didn’t come same time with the Songkran festival). Girls who
work in bars hardly can’t say no more English than “Where do you come
from?” It is their work to try to be friendly, speak to customers and
smile, if you answer them, you show that you are friendly too, but I
assure you, they forget you and your answers after you walk away from
bars. These women come usually from the poorest areas in Thailand, and
behind those smiles can hide a bigger tragedy than a farang can imagine,
some can’t even read or write. I met my wife, Yupa Thaikham (name means
Thai smile), many years ago. We are happy, she can still smile, even she
lives in cold Finland. We visit Thailand yearly, but still we have seen
arrogant, sometimes even violent behavior to Thai girls made by stupid
farang men. Happy Songkran to all Chiang Mai Mail readers.
Mr. Aarno Lehtinen and Mrs Yupa Thaikham
Dear Aarno and Yupa,
Thank you for your letter, and as you can probably see, I did clean up
the ‘Finglish’ a bit, but it was obvious what you meant. You are correct
when you write about the girls in the bars saying, “It is their work to
try to be friendly”, but unfortunately many men visiting these bars
confuse the ‘work’ with true love. Fishermen would say these chaps were
suiciding on the hook. If only the men who write in realized the girl is
just doing her job, it would make life so much easier for them. I am so
pleased to hear that you and Yupa are still happy despite living in
Finland, and Happy Songkran to you both.
Dear Hillary,
I read in the papers that there has been a crackdown recently about copy
goods - shirts, CDs and watches and the like. Pictures of them being
burnt in the street and all. Why is this? Everyone knows that you go to
Asia to buy real bargains. I always bring back a sack of watches and all
the latest movies on DVD and some footy shirts for the blokes. What’s
wrong with this? If I can’t get the stuff in Thailand any more, do you
know where I can get them? I like Thailand, but I have to look at what I
can take back to sell, to pay for the trip.
Copy Charlie
Dear Copy Charlie,
This is what they call a vexed question, Charlie. How would you feel if
you made some type of special goods and your living came from selling
them throughout the world and then found that cheap copies were being
marketed at half the price you sell them for, and you don’t get anything
from that sale? Mind you, I think that many of these overseas goods are
highly over-priced too. The whole question of copyright is well beyond
me, I’m afraid. I’m just worried about getting landed with ‘copy’
champagne. As to where you can go to get the things you want - the
markets here still have them I believe, but don’t tell the powers that
be. Unless the powers that be are running the market!
Dear Hillary,
How do you work out what size you are in this country? In the UK I am a
Medium (M) but over here the shop girls all say I am XL. I believed them
and got three shirts, all XL, but only two of them fitted, the third was
miles too big. When I went back the little shop in the market, it was
not there any longer, so I am left with this big shirt. What’s your
suggestion, Hillary?
Excel
Dear Excel,
Have you never thought about holding the shirts up against you to check
the sizes before you buy? Seems fairly obvious to me, Petal. So the
shop’s done a midnight flit or moved on to the next market, so is this a
huge problem? Give the large one to a large friend, or wait till you
grow into it yourself. Most farang males seem to get bigger as they get
older. It’s something to do with the refreshment they drink. Or perhaps
you are boasting about being XL? For you, at least, size does matter!
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Camera Class:
by Harry Flashman
Next year, photograph Songkran without
drowning your camera
 I
do not like Songkran. If it were one day it would be fun, but
days of being soaked, is not. However, there is no getting away
from the fact that Songkran is a festival you should photograph
- even if it is only once! I will also admit that the first time
I experienced this annual water throwing event, I too thought it
was fun.
By the way, despite what you may be told, this is not a uniquely
‘Thai’ festival, but one that is celebrated in many countries in
SE Asia, hence those who would like to flee must go further than
the immediate neighboring countries!
As a visual spectacle it is definitely worth recording for
posterity, but this should not be done at the expense of your
camera equipment. As mentioned, this is a water festival, and
cameras and thrown water (and powder and ice) do not mix. (For
that matter, water throwing and alcohol do not mix either, which
is just one of the reasons for the horrendous death toll.)
Since great volumes of water are thrown (despite the fact that
Thailand is always in the throes of a drought) this does offer
some great photo opportunities, but unfortunately also presents
some great opportunities to permanently damage your expensive
camera gear.
There are several ways around this problem. The first is to go
all out and buy a Nikonos underwater camera at the cost of many
thousands of baht. These are a wonderful underwater camera but
for this instance - totally impractical, unless you want to
stand at the side of the road in a full wet-suit!
The second way is to purchase a fancy plastic underwater housing
for your own camera. Now these can range in price, depending on
complexity. Built like a perspex box to house your camera, you
can operate all the adjustments from the outside. These are not
cheap either, and the cheapest in the range is literally a
plastic bag with a waterproof opening and a clear plastic
section for the lens. You open it up and literally drop your
camera inside it and seal the bag. These can be purchased from
major photographic outlets and I did spot one in a photo-shop
for B. 750.
A third way is a waterproof disposable (yes, they do make them).
Good for about three meters, so perfectly suitable for splashing
water. If you can’t get one of those, then even the ordinary
cheap disposables are a better option than getting your good
camera gear doused. I must admit to having dropped one of these
overboard one day and the boatman jumped in and rescued it. It
survived the dip and the final pictures were fine. But neither
I, or the manufacturer, recommend this!
So now let’s get down to some serious photo techniques to get
that magic Songkran shot. Since you are trying to capture the
movement of the water, a slow shutter speed will help. Hand-held
you are probably not going to get down below 1/30th, but you
could try some at 1/15th, it’s not impossible, especially if you
are using a wide-angle lens.
However, since you are trying to get far enough away to keep the
camera dry, you may be forced to use the longer lenses which
means you cannot hand-hold at even 1/30th. The answer here is to
find a good vantage point, some distance from the action, and
use a tripod.
If you are going down this route, then the best vantage point is
a high one. First floor balconies get you high enough to escape
the water, but not too high that you cannot get into the
activity with a 150 mm lens or longer. Since you will be using a
tripod, I would even set the shutter speed slower than 1/30th,
and a few ‘experimental’ shots at 1/8th or even 1/4 of a second
are worth trying. Remember that some ‘blurring’ denotes motion
in the final photograph, and at Songkran there is plenty of
activity.
Finally, you can always cheat by photographing through the
windscreen of the car, as I did with this week’s photo! “Chok di
bi mai! May your camera stay dry!”
Money Matters: Paul Gambles
MBMG International Ltd.
Truth or Consequences
No matter how many ways one looks at it and however
favourably through rose tinted spectacles, any leveraging via structured
products involved with property and mortgage markets still continues to
unwind as fast as possible.
What is worse is that most people still do not know or understand how the
pricing of these products works and a lot of analysts and economists
continue to believe that the wool is still being pulled over their eyes.
Bob Parker, vice-chairman of Credit Suisse Asset Management, recently
announced that the worst of the sub-prime mortgage crisis would be over
within weeks. What a load of rubbish; it has not even started yet. Anyway,
what would he know? His comment would probably have carried more weight had
it not come from someone at Credit Suisse, which had to announce only a few
days after reporting good Q4 earnings, that it would be writing down an
additional USD2.85 billion due to unspecified “mis-markings” by a group of
traders. Whoops!
The credit problems of the last year that has so affected the financial and
banking elite could well suggest we have seen a fundamental changing of the
guard during this period of acute financial disfunction. Chart 1, for
example, shows the recent price history of Chicago’s Vix index, a market
estimate of future volatility for the S&P 500 stock index.
If you ignore the short term spike that occurred mid-2005, the Vix’s longer
term trend basically indicated that volatility was on the way out. Then
sub-prime hit us for six.
Credit Suisse may truly think that the worst is over. Others, more in touch
with the real world, reckon that the US economy has hit a barrier and could
well take a lot longer to recover than normal. Even Alan Greenspan is in
this camp.
Bank of England Deputy Governor Rachel Lomax recently announced that due to
the credit crunch, central banks all over the world now had to face their
“largest ever peacetime liquidity crisis,” as “each week seems to highlight
some new dimension of the ensuing disruption to core financial markets.”
Gavekal Research show on Chart 2 that the last 35 years has seen a real
decline in the volatility of growth.
Chart 3 indicates that when there is lower volatility in growth then there
is more profitability.
However, the USD64,000 question is how long can this last? Are these trends
capable of lasting forevermore? Let us look at this. Corporate profits in
the US, when compared to US GDP, had never been higher than they were in
2007.
Now, given the property market in the US and elsewhere is hurting and that
the financial sector has also taken a right battering, it does not seem
unreasonable to think that the corporate expectations for profits and growth
this year are simply ridiculous and no more than pie in the sky projections
from people who have to keep their jobs.
If the above paragraph is true then it is not too hard to believe that
anyone who thinks the ‘permanently’ low economic volatility will almost
guarantee a continued high Price/Earnings (P/E) ratio is in for a rude shock
in 2008. Just look at the financials over the last year or so. If this is
any guide to the broader market, the ‘P’ could well get mauled and the ‘E’
would soon follow.
One journalist, from the Financial Times, was gobsmacked by the Pension
Benefit Guaranty Corporation’s decision to ‘bet the ranch’ by moving the
majority of its assets from bonds into equities. Obviously, equities usually
outperform in the long run, but in certain situations this can be longer
than you or I can stay solvent. In the same article, a specific mention was
made about Asia, and the effect it is having on the price rises in relation
to commodities:
“The China effect is crucial. In contrast to the shock increase in the
world’s labour supply, which for some years proved dis-inflationary, the
acceleration in per capita incomes points the other way. It produces a
multiplier effect on consumption of raw materials, to say nothing of strains
on the environment. The result - too much money chasing too few resources...
The result... will be a hoovering up of investment by resource sectors
generally, including water, waste disposal and alternative energy... In the
1970s, resource-based portfolios were alone in producing real returns…
Meanwhile, equities in general will suffer from the higher risk premium due
to economic instability, and bonds from higher inflation...”
Recently, we wrote about the incredible rise in soft commodities prices. We
are great believers in this asset class. However, you must not put all your
eggs in one basket. People know our fund managers are Miton Asset Management
who are among the best in the world when it comes to multi-asset investment.
The reason they are usually at the top of their asset class is that they are
ahead of the herd and take a contrarian approach. This meant that you went
against the flow and bought out of favour investments at very low prices.
For this year, contrarianism in 2008 may well be to be about, effectively,
endorsing the speculative trend - but keeping the faith for the longer term.
To use an analogy, shorter term price action is just about the weather;
longer term, secular, sustainable and fundamental trends amount to climate.
For example, in the commodities markets, even more than in stock-picking,
‘buy and hold’ may well out-perform trading strategies.
No rational investor should elect to allocate 100% of their liquid capital
into one asset class, i.e. commodities and nothing else. However, he/she
could be half right - in that investment right now into every distinct asset
class requires extreme selectivity and care. Given the heightened volatility
of the resources sector at present, and the marked disconnect between the
level of equity indices (borderline euphoric) and the tone of credit markets
(borderline suicidal), that seems like an eminently reasonable conclusion.
And that is why we use Miton Asset Management.
Chart 1
Chart 2
Chart 3
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The above data and research was compiled from
sources believed to be reliable. However, neither MBMG International Ltd
nor its officers can accept any liability for any errors or omissions in
the above article nor bear any responsibility for any losses achieved as
a result of any actions taken or not taken as a consequence of reading
the above article. For more information please contact Paul Gambles on
paul@mbmg-international.com |
Life in Chiang Mai:
by Mark Whitman
When will you be back?
As soon as possible!
A trip to the U.K. is essential some time this year so
why not when its extra hot in Chiang Mai and - as I write - very cool (even
some late snow) in England. Hopefully that will pass and visits to friends
and family plus a little bit of work can be soon accomplished amidst
Spring-like conditions. Each year the time away from this city grows shorter
and next year…who knows? In the meantime it will include observations about
Thailand and Chiang Mai as seen from the British press and it will be life
over here as viewed from over there.
However, a few recent headlines from the Thai press have also caught my eye
and sadly none of them fills me with much optimism. How about this: ‘Troops
to get Western food’. It seems that somebody in an attempt to placate
unhappy soldiers (especially those in the south) thinks that a change of
diet might cheer them up. They will be served such culinary delights as
American fried rice, hot dogs, spaghetti in boil in the bag form which keeps
for 12 months and ‘candy’. The sad influx of fast food into Thailand, which
is suffering from an increasing number of overweight youngsters (and the not
so young) is now to be extended to the army. No comment.
And no comment on the Bangkok Post headline which announced simply, ‘Samak
has kind words for the junta’. The one in Burma, they meant, not the one he
replaced. Still it’s worth quoting from an Associated Press report from
Rangoon that appeared around the same time and had the heading, ‘Burmese
junta charges activists’. It told of some 20 people arrested for the ‘crime’
of having opinions which are contrary to those of their unelected rulers.
They face between seven and 20 years in jail and are already being kept in
the notorious Insein prison, where kind words are not likely to be the order
of the day.
And finally a headline which reflects on something, which I have commented
on several times in this column: the expansion of Thailand’s neighbor and
competitor. The report was headed:
‘Vietnam in growth league with China and India’. Their rate of growth it
stated was above that of Malaysia, Taiwan, South Korea and even India - and
certainly well above that of Thailand. We notice here via a lack of tourists
and hearing about a lack of new business. Certainly Thailand is lagging
behind in attracting visitors and if we were not for the extra million
Russian tourists - mainly to Pattaya and Bangkok and to a lesser extent to
Phuket - the drop would be even more marked. One can certainly see that the
low season has been around for longer than usual in Chiang Mai. That, of
course, has been partly the result of negative publicity from last years
worse than normal pollution.
But Vietnam seems actively to seek investment and is even allowing outsiders
to own land, at least for long periods. I wonder why this could not be
considered here, along with a more welcoming attitude to people who wish to
make Thailand their home or wish to start business here. It would seem that
people who wish to gamble might be welcome. There have been innumerable
headlines assuring the welcome that will be given to casinos and other
places for legalized gambling. The argument in favor seems that since people
already gamble it might as well be encouraged.
The argument against it is the incontrovertible one that it will lead to
corruption, increased addiction and crime. There were many supporters of
so-called super-casinos in Britain, where gambling is a major and growing
problem and the cause of much poverty, but happily some of this ‘enthusiasm’
which stemmed from the previous Prime Minister seems to have abated.
Let’s hope for Thailand - including Chiang Mai, which is considered as one
of the possible sites - that such enthusiasm also diminishes here. No one
will gain except the owners, the entrepreneurs and crime bosses. As always
the rich will get richer and the poor will be poorer and further in debt.
Only the foolish or sick believe that they can win at gambling as a quick
look at the profits of those who run casinos and the like will show.
Let's Go To The Movies:
Mark Gernpy
Now playing in Chiang Mai
Horton Hears a Who!: US Animation/Family – With Jim Carrey. A
whimsical and witty version of Dr. Seuss. An imaginative elephant named
Horton hears a faint cry for help coming from a tiny speck of dust floating
through the air. That speck houses an entire city named Who-ville, inhabited
by the microscopic Whos. Despite being ridiculed by his neighbors, Horton is
determined to save the particle - because “a person’s a person, no matter
how small.” Generally favorable reviews.
Superhero Movie: US Action/Comedy – A send-up of superhero films by
the people who brought you “Scary Movie.” Generally negative reviews.
The Forbidden Kingdom: US Action/Adventure – An American teenager
obsessed with Hong Kong cinema and kung-fu classics makes an extraordinary
discovery in a Chinatown pawnshop: the legendary stick weapon of the Chinese
sage and warrior, the Monkey King. With the lost relic in hand, the teenager
unexpectedly finds himself traveling back to ancient China to join a crew of
warriors from martial arts lore on a dangerous quest to free the imprisoned
Monkey King. The first collaboration between martial arts superstars Jet Li
and Jackie Chan in a film that’s fun and worthy of their considerable
talents.
Street Kings: US Crime/Thriller – With Keanu Reeves. I found this a
compelling, exciting film about a veteran LAPD detective forced to go up
against the cop culture he’s been a part of his entire career. Keanu Reeves
plays an alcoholic Vice Squad cop whose police methods of brutality and
legal assassinations have long been covertly approved and elaborately
covered up by his boss, a suave and cunning Forest Whitaker. Rated R in the
US for strong violence and pervasive language. Mixed or average reviews
My Blueberry Nights: US Drama/Romance – With Jude Law. In his first
English-language film, the Hong Kong auteur Wong Kar-Wai has the same
dreamy, romantic melancholy that distinguishes his best work. The film is
strikingly beautiful: The shifting color palette - a black-lit
phosphorescence for New York; reds, and browns for Memphis; a sun-baked gold
for Nevada - is gorgeous to look at, as is the cast. Mixed or average
reviews. At Major Cineplex.
Boogeyman 2: US Horror – A direct-to-video product that apparently
has never before been shown in a cinema. It centers on a young woman with a
long-term phobia of the bogeyman who checks herself into a mental hospital
with the hope of conquering her fears. Basically, you have a masked man
chasing some frightened teenagers through an isolated hospital, killing them
one by one, with emphasis on the bloody, the cruel, and the disgusting. At
Major Cineplex.
Ku Kuan Puan Maesa: Thai Comedy – The usual, with the usual
comedians.
Vantage Point: US Drama/Thriller – Eight different views of an
assassination attempt, and thus it’s intended in part, I think, as homage to
Kurosawa’s “Rashomon,” but, really, it’s quite different. In “Rashomon,” the
varying accounts of a rape and murder are shaped by self-interest. “Vantage
Point” is more literal; it shows what each person actually sees, not what he
wants to see. In each depiction, we get a little closer to comprehension of
the entire affair only to have the film-makers — in a rather cheap trick —
cut away to still another character’s restricted view of things. Finally,
they abandon the vantage-point experiment entirely, shift to an impersonal
view, and finish the story in a conventional way – in a series of car
crashes and shootouts. With Dennis Quaid and Forest Whitaker. Mixed or
average reviews.
Sex is Zero 2: Korea Comedy / Romance – a very popular (in Asia)
college sex comedy that manages to be raunchy, funny, and sexy, in the style
of American gross-out college comedies. (Thai-dubbed only; no English
subtitles) At Major Cineplex.
Orahun Summer: Thai Comedy / Drama – Misadventures of boy monks.
Art of the Devil 3: Thai Horror – Torture porn. Last week I advised
you to stay away from this one. I didn’t heed my own warning, and saw it. It
does have some very nice landscapes, rather beautifully photographed in a
moody way. And of course unrelenting torture. In particular it demonstrates
in superbly clear manner, step-by-step, how to stitch and pin, and indeed
staple, a person’s eyelids open so he will be forced to watch you as you
torture to death his entire family. So if something like this is on your
agenda, you might want to check it out. The most popular film in Thailand
last week.
Dream Team: Thai Family/Comedy – Five-year-old boys compete in
tug-of-war championships.
Nak: Thai Animation/Family – With English subtitles at Major
Cineplex. In this animated adaptation of Thailand’s famous Mae Nak ghost
legend, Nak is family-friendly, instead of being a scary, vengeful ghost. In
fact, she is a very cute, pink-hued young woman, though still a ghost. She
and her ghost friends have some adventures with children in modern-day
Bangkok. I found it rather pleasant and amusing.
Life in the laugh lane:
by Scott Jones
Building Block(head)s
The skills required to construct delicate, multi-roofed, exotic Thai
buildings are remarkable, but these remarks are about the semi-brainless
builders regularly inflicted on me: blockheads. The dictionary says a
“blockheads” is an idiots, but in Thailand, I prefer to go with
B.L.O.C.K.H.E.A.D.S, an acronym that stands for Basic Lack Of Construction
Knowledge, Heavy Equipment And Decent Scaffolding.
Death Wish #487: Thai scaffolding
Many workers seem to have vast pools of intelligence in their heads
surrounded by black holes of ignorance. Coming from America where a raft of
laws require steel hats, steel-toed boots and sturdy steel scaffolding
bolted together with steel screws, I’m in awe of the rickety bamboo
nightmares loosely lashed several stories up the side of a structure, where
sandaled laborers balance on bamboo beams without even planks to walk on. A
farang friend, new to Thailand, approached some workers and nervously tried
to communicate that their tinker toy framework looked unsafe. The foreman
pointed out that they tied everything together with two, count ‘em, two thin
strips of brightly colored plastic string. I marvel at the contractor who
arrives with a truck full of sandaled workers who mix cement with their bare
feet in a pile on the ground, erect an entire building, with no plans
whatsoever, while I’m taking a shower, then leave a hardened concrete crater
next to the door for me to stub my toes on.
With my financial help, my landlord agrees to enlist her personal blockheads
and remodel a neighboring wooden shed into a modern, concrete block
office/studio. Since it would house my computers and music equipment, I
request grounded, three-prong outlets to prevent lightning or a rogue
electrical surge from melting them into expensive metal blocks. Once twenty,
three-holed outlets are in place, I plug things in and receive a
hair-raising electric shock. Summoning a “real” electrician, I learn the
problem. Good news: I have three-holed outlets. Bad news: none are grounded.
They are only “aired,” as in “erred.” (“Farang like holes? I give him
holes!”) Later, while installing the telephone line, the landlord’s
shock-head drills several holes from the outside to the inside walls, stuffs
the cord through one, and leaves all the other holes in the newly painted
wall. Natural lighting or air-conditioning, perhaps? Tiny tunnels for
mosquitoes to harass me at night? No, just “Farang like holes? I give him
more holes!”
The metal door/window contractor installs a sliding glass door and presents
me with a miniscule key, almost flexible, which locks the door for a moment,
but a slight movement of the door releases the lock. He is quite perturbed
when I complain about how easily the door can be opened. After he “tests” it
using about as much force as it takes to carefully pick up a butterfly
without hurting its wings, he says “Door work good.” I give his “locked”
door a quick, medium shake and effortlessly open it. His nasty reply: “You
do that and you break it.” Let’s see. Thousands of dollars of equipment are
in view behind a glass door, but a robber will only jiggle it gently once
before giving up. Hmm, maybe his friend is the thief who will be visiting
later on tonight?
Considering all windows and doors may be opened by a stiff wind, I find an
iron grate, security guy who is friendly, inexpensive and supposedly
competent. I select the color and a lovely pattern from his hundreds of
designs; he measures and returns a week later to install the goods. Luckily,
after an hour or so, I inspect the progress. His blockhead army is savagely
hammering the ill-measured, metal windows into the openings and cracking the
walls and sills as chunks of concrete shower onto the floor. “Yut!! Yut!! I
yell, “stop” in Thai, though many other words come to mind that I haven’t
learned in Thai. What did he use to measure? A snake that grew by the time
he got back to his shop?
When I was young, I owned a fun game called Blockhead: a bunch of
multi-colored, weirdly-shaped, wooden pieces that you’d take turns stacking
with friends, like Jenga in reverse, until the loser finally knocked the
pile over. I still play this in Thailand, but now blockheads stack their own
blocks, secure them insecurely with tape, plastic twine and sticky stuff,
then leave, so I lose when I use, and their building falls down.
Welcome to Chiang Mai:
Traditions of Songkran – ancient and beautiful
Many of you who read the Chiang Mai Mail will have
noted references, both in our interview with Dr. Duentemduang na
Chiengmai, the newly elected Mayor of our city, and in her talks given
over the last few weeks to various expat organisations, to her wishes
for the Thai New Year festival to return to its traditional form. Over
the last few years, reports of excessive behaviour, drunkenness, the use
of pressure hoses, and chaos on the roads have driven many of us to
leave the city rather than to try to find any remnant of the gentle and
respectful ceremonies and rituals that used to characterise this, the
most important festival of the Thai year. The media’s use of the term
“Water Wars”, although a clever and reasonably accurate description of
what goes on, hardly encouraged participation! This year, our Mayor’s
plans included “polite zones”, where people could enjoy some of the
festival’s more traditional aspects, and both Thai and foreign
volunteers were given the opportunity to staff the areas in order to
help and explain rituals which go back over many hundreds of years. Very
much a move in the right direction, and much appreciated! Even so, many
expats we have spoken to have only a sketchy idea of how the festival
began, how it has developed and why it is celebrated at this time in the
year.
The origins of the present festival go back in time to at least the 13th
century, when the mass migration from southern China into Thailand and
the surrounding areas by the agriculturally based Tai peoples brought
with it a similar celebration of the New Year. This took place in Deaun
Ai, the first lunar month of the ancient Chinese lunar calendar, which
fell between the middle of November and the middle of December, and was
based on the growing seasons of the crops. Two issues may have been
responsible for the change of date of the festival; firstly, Thailand’s
tropical climate resulting in different growing seasons, and secondly,
the merging of the animistic beliefs of the Tai with the Brahman Indian
astrologically influenced Buddhism of the indigenous Mon peoples, which
placed a greater emphasis on the phases of the moon, the position of the
sun, and the 12 year astrological calendar. Interestingly, some rural
agricultural communities in Thailand still celebrate their New Year on
the original dates. The original name of the festival in Thailand was
“Sangkhara”, from the Pali, which, translated, refers to the zodiacal
movement of the sun from Aries to Taurus”. From “Sanghkara” to “Sangkan”
in the Thai language, thence to “Songkran”, but the original meaning
continues, particularly in the traditionally agricultural areas of the
north and north-east.
New Year ritual and respect for water, cleansing, spirit –refreshing and
renewing as a life-giving essential gift, are the two aims of the
traditional festival. On the first official day, April 13, known as Wan
Sangkhan Lohng, Thais clean their houses and clothes in preparation for
the festival. Parades of revered Buddha images from local temples,
together with floats, musicians and people dressed in traditional
costume, take place. On the second day, Wan Nao, food is cooked and
readied in preparation for its presentation to local monks as part of
the merit-making ceremonies which will occur on the following day.
People may also go to a river to collect sand for the traditional
construction of sand chedis, decorated with flowers and paper streamers,
in the courtyard of the temple. These represent personal pagodas as part
of the merit-making rituals.
On the third day, Wan Payawan, the first day of the New Year itself, the
temples are thronged with people bringing offerings of cooked food,
fruit, new robes and other gifts to the monks. On the last day, Wan Paak
Bpee, respect is paid to one’s ancestors, to older people, and to those
who deserve special respect due to their position. This is done with a
beautiful, gentle ceremony, Rod Man Dam Hua, which involves pouring
scented water over the hands of those to whom respect is due. The
recipient then returns the blessing by touching the hands to the sides
of the giver’s head. During the ceremony, a spokesman for the givers
asks the recipients to excuse and forgive any disrespectful attitudes or
wrong behaviour during the previous year. This lovely ceremony, believe
it or not, together with the sprinkling of a little scented water on the
shoulders of a person to whom you wish a happy New Year, has become one
of the originators of the present “water wars”!
Songkran, together with the other important Thai festivals, such as Loi
Kratong, which are held here in Chiang Mai, has at its traditional roots
the tenets of faith, devotion and respect to ancestors, family, friends,
rituals and customs and the Buddhist religion itself. Surely it’s up to
us as relative newcomers to this city to appreciate this annual
outpouring of blessings as well as large quantities of water for exactly
what it is—a combined wish for happiness, peace, success and prosperity
for another full year!
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This article is published courtesy
of the “Welcome to Chiang Mai” folder, available as an email
attachment from:- welcometochiangmai@yahoo.co.uk. |
HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?:
Stuart Rodger - The Englishman’s Garden, Chiang Dao
Paper Flowers
One of the loveliest crafts Chiang Mai is famous for is its paper flowers,
with entire villages devoted to making these exquisite creations; however,
the city is also famous for the May-flowering trees lining its motorways
whose blossoms also look as though they are crafted of crepe paper! Hence
the common name of the tree!
Some varieties of Lagerstroemeria trees, native to northern Thailand, grow
enormously tall and majestic with straight trunks which, when mature, are
slightly buttressed at the base and have attractive bark that flakes off in
oval patches. Along the highways, the “garden” varieties, with much larger
flowers in purple and pink, are pruned back hard each year after seeding to
encourage larger flowers and a denser show of colour on the compact trees
perfectly in scale with the road side. Trees of even smaller scale with
daintier flowers are available, and are suitable for the smaller garden,
whilst the bush varieties with their vibrantly coloured blooms make a lovely
backdrop to a flower border. These purples and pinks in varying shades and
intensities blend beautifully together and look lovely en mass. The
white-flowered version looks lovely in a “white garden”, or combined with
one other colour - a scheme that always works providing the colour is
intense and not too subtle. White always detracts the eye away from any
subtle blend and renders it less noticeable. The rule with white, therefore,
is - be careful where you place it!
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Tip of the Week
Don’t be afraid to collect seed from trees. Sow them where you want
them to grow, then thin them out when big enough to select, leaving
the largest and strongest individual to develop. This seedling tree
will have an undamaged tap root that will go straight down to the
water table and in a few years will be a bigger and stronger tree
than one grown in a pot. |
Control your music from taskbar
Most of us enjoy listening to music while working on the computer. We would
select songs into a playlist and let it play while we carry on with our
work. This week features a small and simple tip but a sensible technique to
help you control music faster and easier.
Normally, while you are listening to music, when you need to skip a song,
you would have to switch back to the media player window and press the
‘Next’ button. Even in a situation when, say, your phone rings and you need
to lower the volume or mute it completely to answer the call, you would have
go back to the player again. Plus, don’t you think having a maximized window
of a media player opened on your screen is a mere clutter of your workspace?
Let’s make our tech life easier. Put that media player on your teeny taskbar
at the bottom of your screen.
Most Media Players come with an inbuilt feature that allows you to minimize
the player’s controls to fit into the taskbar on your Windows computer.
Isn’t that neat? With this you can play, pause, stop, go to next or previous
song, control the volume or even mute it. And if you want to watch a video
as well, Windows Media Taskbar puts a little screen on your taskbar for you
to enjoy. As long as it is on your taskbar, you don’t have to switch back
and forth between programs again!
This feature may already be enabled on player, but if you haven’t seen it,
here’s how to activate it on Windows Media Player and Apple iTunes in three
easy steps:
1) Right-click mouse on the taskbar.
2) Click on Toolbars. Then click on Windows Media Player or iTunes
3) Whenever you want you put your player on the taskbar, just minimize the
player and it will automatically be embedded into the taskbar.
There you go, easy and neat!
Answer and Win!
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