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Vol. XI No.1 Sunday June 24 - Saturday July 7, 2012


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Update by Saichon Paewsoongnern
 
 
 

ASK EMMA

 

New to Chiang Mai
Dear Emma,
We are a retired American couple that have recently moved to Chiang Mai and are looking to make friends but find it difficult to know where to go to meet people. We aren’t really interested in the bar scene although we do like the occasional drink. We are rather sporty but not into anything seriously athletic. We don’t care if people are of the same nationality or even age, just we aren’t interested in the elbow benders. Any suggestions?
Signed
Looking for like-minded friends

Dear Like-Minded,
I can understand your wish to avoid the bar scene but you might want to consider quiz nights at various pubs around the City. These are a great way to have fun and meet people as well. Gallery openings or musical events are also very good events to attend where you can meet like-minded people. There is a Bridge Club, Chess Club, Photographic Group among others . There are also several groups that meet monthly, the Chiang Mai Expats Club meets at the Shangri La Hotel on the last Saturday of every month at 10 a.m and the Chiang Mai Friends meets the last Wednesday of every month at 5:30 p.m. The Informal Northern Thai Group offers more academic meetings where speakers discuss Lanna and Thai history. There are many Rotary Clubs around Chiang Mai you may want to consider looking into. If you are into sports, there is golf and badminton, yoga and judo. You can also consider helping out at some of the animal shelters such as Care For Dogs, the Santisook Cats and Dogs Home or Lanna Dog Welfare, or if people are your thing there is the new Lanna Care Net. These and many other events are listed in the Chiang Mai Mail’s Community Happenings pages.
Yours,
Emma


Why so unfriendly?
Dear Emma,
I am a slightly older western woman living in Chiang Mai, I have been here for some years now and have developed a good network of friends, both male and female, Thai and foreign. I dress presentably and have a decent understanding of how to behave in Thailand so why do I occasionally get what feels like dirty looks from some older western gentlemen? I don’t really understand why, generally I am quite friendly and polite. But for some, it seems that none of this quite suffices. Usually it’s when I am at the grocery store or somewhere equally banal. What seems to be the problem here?
Signed
Friendly and confused
Dear Friendly,
I am also of a certain age that I also receive these looks from time to time. I put it down to GOM (grumpy old man) syndrome and the inability of some to accept the happiness of others. Do what I do, smile sweetly and move on. There is no reason to let someone else’s negativity affect your life.
Yours,
Emma

Seeing as you are a lady…
Dear Emma
Seeing as how you are a lady, perhaps you can give me some advice on what to do when my girlfriend gets upset and I am not quite sure what is the cause. Often I will propose a suggestion of something to do or somewhere to eat and will get the cryptic “Up to you” which, if I take it as it seems to mean, often ends in a quiet freeze from her. Why does she say “up to you” if she has an opinion and wants to do something different than I? What should I do next time I get the dreaded “up to you”?
Signed,
Not up to me!
Dear Not,
Well, there is a really rather simple solution, one so obvious in its simplicity that it is often overlooked. Ask her.
If you don’t really have a preference and are just throwing out ideas, then stop. Don’t throw out ideas at all! Simply say, “Darling, I have no idea what to eat for dinner tonight, what would you like to have?”
When you have something you want to do or a particular meal you want to eat, you say, “Darling, I am dying for a pizza at the Dukes. I haven’t had one in so long, do you mind if I eat there tonight? You are, of course, more than welcome to join me but since I know pizza isn’t your favorite perhaps you would like to eat somewhere else first?”
I know it sounds crazy, but give it a shot. You will find that by offering her the ability to make her own choices she may just stop with the “up to you” and the cold freeze. Or not, she could just be having a bad day!
Yours,
Emma


Won’t stop calling
Dear Emma
I met this guy but am no longer interested. He keeps calling me and wants to be back with me...but he asked for money from me after spending a few weeks with me. I felt obligated to give it to him as he said something about his Mom...but my gut says no, what do you think??
Signed
For love or money
Dear love or money,
Darling it’s clearly the money and not love. If telling him to leave you alone doesn’t stop him from calling you, and hanging up the phone whenever he does call you also doesn’t work, then answer the phone call but put the phone down and walk away. If he is all about the money he will tire of spending his credit on phone calls that yield no results.
Yours,
Emma
Please forward all correspondence to Emma through [email protected]


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