New to Chiang Mai
We are a retired American couple that have recently moved to Chiang Mai and
are looking to make friends but find it difficult to know where to go to
meet people. We aren’t really interested in the bar scene although we do
like the occasional drink. We are rather sporty but not into anything
seriously athletic. We don’t care if people are of the same nationality or
even age, just we aren’t interested in the elbow benders. Any suggestions?
Looking for like-minded friends
I can understand your wish to avoid the bar scene but you might want to
consider quiz nights at various pubs around the City. These are a great way
to have fun and meet people as well. Gallery openings or musical events are
also very good events to attend where you can meet like-minded people. There
is a Bridge Club, Chess Club, Photographic Group among others . There are
also several groups that meet monthly, the Chiang Mai Expats Club meets at
the Shangri La Hotel on the last Saturday of every month at 10 a.m and the
Chiang Mai Friends meets the last Wednesday of every month at 5:30 p.m. The
Informal Northern Thai Group offers more academic meetings where speakers
discuss Lanna and Thai history. There are many Rotary Clubs around Chiang
Mai you may want to consider looking into. If you are into sports, there is
golf and badminton, yoga and judo. You can also consider helping out at some
of the animal shelters such as Care For Dogs, the Santisook Cats and Dogs
Home or Lanna Dog Welfare, or if people are your thing there is the new
Lanna Care Net. These and many other events are listed in the Chiang Mai
Mail’s Community Happenings pages.
Why so unfriendly?
I am a slightly older western woman living in Chiang Mai, I have been here
for some years now and have developed a good network of friends, both male
and female, Thai and foreign. I dress presentably and have a decent
understanding of how to behave in Thailand so why do I occasionally get what
feels like dirty looks from some older western gentlemen? I don’t really
understand why, generally I am quite friendly and polite. But for some, it
seems that none of this quite suffices. Usually it’s when I am at the
grocery store or somewhere equally banal. What seems to be the problem here?
Friendly and confused
I am also of a certain age that I also receive these looks from time to
time. I put it down to GOM (grumpy old man) syndrome and the inability of
some to accept the happiness of others. Do what I do, smile sweetly and move
on. There is no reason to let someone else’s negativity affect your life.
Seeing as you are a lady…
Seeing as how you are a lady, perhaps you can give me some advice on what to
do when my girlfriend gets upset and I am not quite sure what is the cause.
Often I will propose a suggestion of something to do or somewhere to eat and
will get the cryptic “Up to you” which, if I take it as it seems to mean,
often ends in a quiet freeze from her. Why does she say “up to you” if she
has an opinion and wants to do something different than I? What should I do
next time I get the dreaded “up to you”?
Not up to me!
Well, there is a really rather simple solution, one so obvious in its
simplicity that it is often overlooked. Ask her.
If you don’t really have a preference and are just throwing out ideas, then
stop. Don’t throw out ideas at all! Simply say, “Darling, I have no idea
what to eat for dinner tonight, what would you like to have?”
When you have something you want to do or a particular meal you want to eat,
you say, “Darling, I am dying for a pizza at the Dukes. I haven’t had one in
so long, do you mind if I eat there tonight? You are, of course, more than
welcome to join me but since I know pizza isn’t your favorite perhaps you
would like to eat somewhere else first?”
I know it sounds crazy, but give it a shot. You will find that by offering
her the ability to make her own choices she may just stop with the “up to
you” and the cold freeze. Or not, she could just be having a bad day!
Won’t stop calling
I met this guy but am no longer interested. He keeps calling me and wants to
be back with me...but he asked for money from me after spending a few weeks
with me. I felt obligated to give it to him as he said something about his
Mom...but my gut says no, what do you think??
For love or money
Dear love or money,
Darling it’s clearly the money and not love. If telling him to leave you
alone doesn’t stop him from calling you, and hanging up the phone whenever
he does call you also doesn’t work, then answer the phone call but put the
phone down and walk away. If he is all about the money he will tire of
spending his credit on phone calls that yield no results.
Please forward all correspondence to Emma through [email protected]