Now what do I do?
I know this story is as old as the hills, or rather as old as foreigners
have been falling in love with Thai women but I met a woman and we fell in
love. Or maybe I fell in love and she did not as now she is no longer
interested in me. We had talked marriage someday but now she seems to be
losing interest. Often when I call she tells me she does not have any time
and sometimes doesn’t pick up the phone. We don’t see each other as often as
before and when we do she is always distracted and distant.
I know that many people will say I am a fool and that if she is making
excuses and has no time for me then I should just dump her and find a new
woman. Many of the guys that come here seem to view women as being
disposable, or maybe just like a car. The old one breaks down, go buy a new
one. I don’t feel that way. I love this woman, not because she’s young or
pretty or Asian but because of the person she is. Or maybe it’s the person I
thought she was.
What can I do to bring her back to me? I don’t want to lose her.
First of all, are you sure she has lost interest, perhaps she is just busy.
Oftentimes, when a woman says she is busy it simply means she is busy. We
all have lives to lead and they don’t always revolve around our man.
However, if you are certain that is not it then you need to accept the hard,
cold fact that like in many relationships (Emma confesses to one herself)
you love her more than she loves you. Sadly, love is not always
reciprocated. If it is not you cannot make her love you. Certainly you can
push her into continuing the relationship but then it would be a sham and
you would always know, in the back of your head, that the love is not real.
Can you live with that? Most cannot.
I would suggest you tell her how you feel and if the disinterested feeling
continues break it off completely. Do not hang on trying to fix things, it
will only make your heart even more broken.
Thai soap operas
I am at my wits end. My lovely wife of 7 years has become addicted to the
soap operas on TV. I can hardly stand it anymore, she must get back in time
for her favorite shows and monopolizes the TV with them. I considered buying
a second TV just so I could watch my own but then she has the volume turned
up quite high and all the shrieking and screaming that goes on in these
shows makes it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else.
She tells me I am overreacting but it has cut into our social life and into
our relationship with each other as she is so fixated on these shows. To be
fair, she does not watch all of them but there are at least three shows that
she MUST watch. We cannot go out when these shows are on, dinner is delayed
for her to finish.
Some of these shows are quire disturbing too, with quite a bit of violence
and even rapes. My wife has even started shrieking and throwing temper
tantrums like some of the characters in her favorite shows. What do I do
short of blowing the TV up?
At my wits end
Blow the TV up. She will go to a friend’s house to watch the shows but then
at least you will have some peace and quiet. Alternatively, go out on your
own. Come home late. Have a few drinks. Enjoy yourself. She probably won’t
However, take heart, Thai soap operas have a start and an end unlike the
serial shows in the U.K. and the U.S. So, one day her show will be over and
you might have a few days to rekindle your relationship.
I know there is this misconception that there is not a large farang woman
population in Thailand but I have found that Chiang Mai defies that notion.
I have quite a few women friends and we often go out and have a nice chat,
dinner and a few drinks. Sadly, some farang men seem to feel that this
invades their space somehow and feel it is within their rights to cast
withering glances at us. This is really quite rude, we are not doing
anything wrong, we are not drunk and disorderly, we are just enjoying
ourselves. I doubt he would cast the same looks at a group of Thai women
doing the same thing. So, to those men I would like to say, “You do not own
Thailand. I have just as much right to be here as you do and if you don’t
like it go somewhere else.”
Fed up with rude men
Dear Fed up,
Ignore them dear, they are only making their own lives miserable and should
be as important to you as the bit of dirt you may have on your shoe. Brush
it off and forget about it.