I work in a relatively small office and as one of the few western women
there I find I have become the target of a petty and small minded campaign
by one of the men working there. He is not Thai but a fellow countryman. His
petty sniping and snide comments hidden as “being helpful” are getting to
me. I know that blowing up is not the answer but I am getting tired of his
childish behavior. I am at a loss as to how to deal with this as I do love
my job and my other co-workers and want to stay. Do you have any suggestions
on how to deal with this? I feel like his behavior is undermining me with my
co-workers and my boss, so it really must stop.
Some people feel threatened by a newcomer and if you are getting along well
with others, are in a position of authority or are excelling at your job
then most likely he just feels threatened. Additionally, there are a few,
usually older but not always, men who don’t know how to handle women
succeeding at their jobs. My suggestion, ignore his pettiness, rise above
it. His behavior will become clear to your co-workers and in the end, will
only make him look bad.
Your best reaction to his petty behavior is a smile and ignore it. Best of
luck and remember that you do not have to stoop to his level.
Barking dogs next door
I live in a mooban and the house next door has several dogs that go crazy
any time someone walks by the house. The dog owner doesn’t seem to ever try
to teach them to stop and frankly, it is driving me crazy. Is there some way
I can teach these dogs to stop barking even though they are not my own or
should I just move somewhere else?
Fed up with the dogs
Dear Fed Up,
It is annoying when dogs bark but it is important to remember that they are
doing what they consider to be their job, that is protecting their home and
that it is the fault of the owner for never teaching his or her dogs how to
behave. However, this does not solve this particular problem.
One thing before considering moving is that anywhere you live will have
drawbacks. People who think they are escaping noise by moving out to the
country still get neighbor noise unless they live in the middle of a huge
property. So, you need to determine if life is better with the devil you
know rather than the one you do not know.
Finally, make friends with the dogs next door if possible. You can encourage
them to not bark at everyone but also bear in mind that they are warning
about strangers. Something you may come to appreciate some day.
I have a dilemma. A dear friend of mine does use Facebook but constantly
posts memes, those photos with sayings on them. And while occasionally one
or two is alright, she posts nothing but. Every great once in a while there
might be a post of interest but usually her wall is a stream of memes I have
no interest in. I don’t want to unfriend her but I really don’t want to see
unending memes. Do I tell her? Should I hide her? Or should I just put up
with it in the hopes that every once in a while she will post something I
want to read?
Post a meme about how you hate memes and hope she sees it. Or hide her. But
there is no reason to put up with something that you have no interest in.
Can Emma add that in addition to those who post meme after meme that her pet
peeve is people who post hashtags in all their posts. I do not particularly
feel like having to wade through a series of hashtags to figure out what you
are trying to say and I have hidden people who do this. Perhaps I should
find a meme about hashtags?
Like many, I live in a condo and I have an elderly neighbor who doesn’t seem
to realize that his television is very loud. He must be hard of hearing and
turns up the volume on everything. The walls are pretty thick and I cannot
hear the neighbors on the other side of my condo but I can hear this man’s
television, his radio. I can even hear the bing of the instant messenger on
One morning when he had the TV on particularly loud quite early in the
morning I slipped a note under his door asking him to turn it down. He
knocked on my door a while later and first denied that his TV was on, but
finally admitted it was but said it wasn’t loud and that it wasn’t against
the adjoining wall.
How do you deal with someone who won’t even admit it is loud? How do I
explain to him that he is hard of hearing and that it is quite loud
sometimes? I have gone out into the hall to make sure it is coming out of
his apartment and I can hear it out in the hall as well. He has no other
neighbor than me so there is no one else to verify or complain.
I really don’t want to make trouble for this man but the noise sometimes is
I would suggest recording it and then playing it for him. If that does not
work, play it for the condo management, assuming he is a renter as well. If
he is not and owns his own unit then you may want to consider finding
somewhere else to live or learn to live with the noise and sleep with
earplugs. Perhaps make your own noise to drown out his and if he complains
you can smile and say, “Oh it is not that loud”.