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ASK EMMA

 

My girlfriend is chatting with guys online
Dear Emma,
I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 1 year and now I find out she has started chatting with guys that she meets online. I met her through a dating site and when we got serious she said she removed her profile from the site. Well I don’t know if she did or not but its back up there and she has been talking to guys online. I caught her at it and she said it’s only been a few weeks but I don’t think so. About two months ago she started acting colder towards me, less interested and seemed obsessed with her phone. I looked and she has flirty messages from men. What should I do? Is it really just a case of “just talking” like she said or do I have reason to worry?
Yours,
Confused
Dear Confused,
When a woman starts looking for attention elsewhere there is usually one of two reasons; she is not getting it from you or she is no longer interested. Either way it spells big trouble for your relationship. You can try talking with her to see if you can determine the real reason for the wandering attention. If it is you it may be possible fr you to fix the relationship but it may also be too late. If it is her then there is not a lot you can do but if you continue to hang on when there is no hope then things will only get worse.
Best of luck.
Yours,
Emma

On the phone all the time
Dear Emma,
I have a friend who is constantly on his phone whenever we go out. He is always chatting with one person or another but not with the person in front of his face, me. I assume he does this when he goes out with other people as well. If it were just the once, or maybe even twice I would be able to live with the phone chatting but it happens nearly every time we go out. It doesn’t seem to matter if we are having dinner, drinks or even listening to music at a concert. We have not yet gone to the theatre for a movie yet but I suspect he will do it there too.
I don’t know what to say to him. At this point, when he talks about going out I make excuses but I am wondering if I should just tell him.
Signed
Fed up with the phone
Dear Fed Up,
If you like him and value the friendship then just tell him. Perhaps he has now become so addicted to his phone that he does not even realize he is ignoring his friends. Tell him now while he still has friends. You can do it in a loving and kind way but make sure he realizes that it is jeopardizing your friendship.
Yours,
Emma


Accidents in Chiang Mai
Dear Emma,
I am considering buying a car but a friend of mine keeps telling me that in an accident the “farang” is always at fault. I am starting to be a little worried, is this true?
Yours,
Concerned driver
Dear Driver,
Well, this has not been the experience of those Emma has met. Several friends have been in accidents, totally at the fault of the other driver and the other driver has had to pay. In the cases of those with cars they simply called their insurance representative. He immediately came to the scene, assessed the situation, negotiated with the police and the other driver and the case was solved.
So, what to do if you do happen to be involved in an accident? Call your insurance agent before you even get out of the car. He will come immediately. Do not attempt to engage the other driver. No shouting or aggression, just tell him (or her) that the insurance representative is on their way. The same thing with the police, tell them the insurance agent is coming. Then wait for your insurance agent and let him negotiate on your behalf. They do not want to pay so they will be on your side.
However, if you feel that may not be good enough then invest in a dashcam, that is a dashboard camera that will record your car’s every move. This can be used as evidence, either with your insurance company or the police, to show who is at fault. Some people have them in the rear of their cars too but I don’t really see the point as almost always the police will side with a person who has been involved in a rear end shunt or also known as being rear ended.
Yours,
Emma


You big size
Dear Emma,
I am a fairly petite American woman so it is very frustrating to me when I walk into a department store and the salesclerk looks at my foreign face and says “Let me show you big size”. Half the time, I am smaller than her! How can I explain to these women that they need to actually look at the person they are trying to serve? What can I say to make them stop the big size comments?
Signed,
Not big size
Dear Not big,
It is a knee jerk reaction from people who have done their jobs long enough they no longer engage their brains when they are performing their work. Simplest thing to do is simply smile and go look at the things you want to look at and ignore their attempts to help you. If they persist you can smile again and just say “No thank you”. No need to make a large fuss over such a simple thing and there is no need for you to get upset simply because they prefer not to pay attention. Smile and say “No thank you” and walk on.
Yours,
Emma