pills and teas
My girlfriend is obsessed with being thin; she is not one of these stick
thin Thai girls but is fairly curvy, which I love. She is not the clonish
looking super thin girl with the wavy hair and big eye contacts which is one
of the reasons I find her attractive. Yet she is obsessed with being thin,
constantly complains about her weight and is taking diet pills and drinking
those diet “herbal teas.” She is always hungry, miserable and it is
affecting her health as well as our relationship.
I don’t understand why she can’t see that just because she doesn’t fit this
cookie cutter image that she is not still beautiful. Emma, what do I do or
say to my girlfriend to convince her that she is hurting herself and us with
It is not just Thai society that puts tremendous pressure on women to appear
thin and beautiful but many western ones as well and the result turns out to
be many very pretty girls with self-esteem issues and eating disorders
simply because they do not fit the ideals of beauty as being propagated by
the media. Add in a culture that has no qualms about commenting on one’s
weight, appearance or anything else, one that values white skin and thinness
over intelligence in women and the result is diet pills and low self-esteem.
As a foreign woman I am larger than some Thai women it is true but not fat
by any stretch of the imagination and yet shopclerks have no problem telling
me “you falang, you big”. Half the time they are larger than me! I was
raised to value myself and my intelligence, to put good values, intelligence
and accomplishments over being skinny and yet, these barbs still sting. Even
when it is actually quite laughable. I have noticed that some women here do
this kind of thing regularly especially to those who don’t quite fit in,
whether that be because they are not stick thin or not white or some other
false norm of beauty.
What can you do for your girlfriend? Well you might want to consider taking
her to visit your home country where she will have a chance to see that
there is more than one shape in the world and that it is ok to be who she
is. But first, take her to a good doctor. One who will give her a full
physical and find out how much damage she has really done. You can tell her
she is beautiful all you want, and while it does help, it will never
actually mitigate the terrible pressures from society at large. But it does
help. Love her and accept her for who she is, give her believable
compliments and emphasize her good features. It will help.
Best of luck,
I have lived in Chiang Mai for a few years now and have noticed a new class
of person here; the moocher. These people only show up at an event if the
wine and food are free and quickly make sure they get more than their fair
share. I have never seen them attend an event that requires them to pay or
to buy their own wine. Sadly, these are not 20 something kids working for
NGOs or teaching English on a small salary but people in their 40s and 50s
who really should know better. Or at least have enough money to either pay
or enough sense to go and get a job if they don’t have any money.
I always feel for the artists at the gallery openings these moochers attend
because not only do they have no plans to actually buy anything; they are
only there for what they can get for free. That is really a sad state of
affairs for someone of that age.
Sorry to rant, Emma, but it is something I had to get off my chest. As a 60
year old man who worked very hard during my life for everything I have, I
dislike people who go mooch off of others rather than get a job!
Sick of moochers
Moochers, as you call them, are a sad fact of life everywhere and not just
endemic to Chiang Mai. Although there do seem to be more than a fair few
here and being foreigners they are perhaps more visible than they would be
back home where they would blend into the social background a little more
It is interesting, when looking up the word “mooch” that the origins of the
word appear to come from the Old French word “muchier” which means to hide,
skulk. Perhaps that best explains how they can hide in plain sight!
However, dear reader, I am afraid that there is little you can do to
discourage moochers. Generally they have very little shame in regards to
their behavior, seeing it as perfectly normal and not deserving of any
Kids these days!
Well, like everyone else on the planet I saw news all over the internet
regarding this Miley Cyrus girl’s performance on some awards show. I clicked
on the link, like everyone else in the world I imagine, and while not
disgusted by the performance found it rather pathetic. Is this what young
people think is sexy? Or do they think that acting like a street corner
hooker on stage will take the place of talent? I have no idea what this girl
sounds like after being mixed in a studio but surely it must be far better
than she sounds live.
It is a terrible thing when this is the route that girls feel they must take
to get attention. I am not sure if it is modern media or just the route the
Americans (and the British) seem to be taking but it is not one I think is
worthy of repeating here in Thailand.
However, my wife’s interest in the gossip shows and magazines show me that
it is here to a much lesser extent. I guess this trend will develop here
eventually which is too bad because really, it doesn’t say anything except
this poor girl really needs to develop some self esteem or talent to promote
herself rather than grinding away on some singer onstage like a stripper on
Not a fan
Dear Not a fan,
Emma also saw the hullaballoo over the whole thing but refrained from
clicking. I did see the word “twerking” in there and did have to look it up
to see what it meant. Once I saw its meaning I decided I needed those five
minutes in my life more than they needed to be wasted watching it online. So
Emma went and did her dishes instead.