I suspect my story is another one of those stupid clichés, I don’t consider
myself a gullible man or a stupid man but I fear the wool has been very
thoroughly pulled over my eyes by my girlfriend. She told me that the young
boy living with her mother was her nephew but I heard him call her Mae the
other day on a visit and she confessed that he is actually her son by an
I don’t mind that she has a child but I do mind that she lied about it. Now
I am starting to question everything she has told me and wonder if it is
true or not. I look at her brother and wonder if all those stories I hear
are true about women who say it’s their brother but it actually turns out to
be their husband or boyfriend. She has a brother and he does not seem overly
affectionate but after the lie about the child I can’t help but wonder what
is real and what is fake.
What should I do? I do like this girl but I am not in love with her yet,
although if it weren’t for the lying think that would be a real possibility.
We are very compatible. However, I am concerned that my fears will poison
the chances for this relationship. What do you think Emma?
While those stories do happen it is not really fair on your girlfriend to
assume she is lying about her brother because she lied about her child.
There are men, not just Thai men but foreigners as well, who are not
interested in a woman who already has a child. They are not interested in
the added responsibility that comes with a child. Perhaps your relationship
is new enough she wasn’t sure if you would be one of those men so lied to
you about it.
Yes, it is wrong to lie but you should put yourself in her shoes and try to
understand where she is coming from. If you cannot do that and you cannot
move past your distrust then you should end the relationship now before it
moves any further and she begins to hope that something could come of it.
Neighbours talking loudly
I live in a small moobaan just on the outside of town. Everyone is at least
nodding acquaintance with everyone else. I try to be friendly with my
neighbours and make sure we have peaceful relations. However, a new couple
has moved in next door and not only do they shun the rest of the
neighbourhood by not responding to friendly nods or hellos, they are
The man is an old European man and perhaps he is deaf and doesn’t like his
hearing aid as his television is on at a very high volume and goes most of
the day and late into the night. Perhaps he falls asleep in front of it, I
don’t know, but I do know that it means I cannot get any sleep at all.
I am at my wits end with the noise. I tried slipping a note under the door
but it made no difference at all and they don’t even acknowledge I am there.
What do I do now?
Emma sympathizes with you; she was woken up by a lady with a loud nasal
voice in the street outside her place at 7 this morning. Whilst I was
tempted to say something, it is the first time this has happened so I kept
silent. However, the next 7 a.m. awakening might not be so pleasant as I am
a night owl.
However, this does not help your situation since your neighbor seems to be a
chronic noise maker. Emma suggests the direct approach. Knock on his door
and ask him nicely to turn it down. Tell him that you cannot sleep and he
needs to lower the volume at night. Suggest a pair of headphones.
If he doesn’t comply or gets belligerent then you will need to take it
further. If he is a renter then contact his landlord. Even better, contact
your landlord. If your village has a headman contact him or her as well.
Talk to the neighbours on the other side of the noisy neighbor and see if
they have the same issues. Perhaps if the complaints come from more than one
person it may be more effective.
Best of luck and I hope you get some sleep.
My brother in law is a lady boy
My wife and I have been married for a few years and while I knew she had a
brother he did not come to our wedding as he was in the Army at the time and
could not get leave. We do not live in the same province as her family and
every time we have gone home he has not been there so I never actually met
him until last week when he showed up at our house here in Chiang Mai.
Imagine my surprise to see that he is a ladyboy. I asked my wife about it
and why she hadn’t told me and she said she didn’t think it was important. I
guess his sexual orientation is none of my business and I do like the guy he
is hard working and seems quite nice. However, I am really not sure how to
tell my parents when they come visit next month. He is living with us for a
while, trying to save money so he can have the operation. My parents are
elderly and from a small town in the Bible belt of the United States. I
don’t know what to tell them!
Ladyboy in the family
Emma has heard of the Bible belt in the United States and can only assume
that this means they are highly Christian and very conservative. Well, this
will be a real eye-opener for them I am sure. Since you like your
brother-in-law and he is not causing trouble then you should just introduce
him as that to your parents. They will surely take their cue from how you
behave towards him. If they have questions, just tell them he is
transgender. His sexual orientation is, as you said, not your business.
Your parents may surprise you and turn out to be far more accepting than you
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