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Update October 2017


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Update by Natrakorn Paewsoongnern
 
 
 

Heart to Heart with Hillary

 

Update Saturday, Oct. 21 - Oct. 27, 2017

Dear Hillary,

I came back to Pattaya after 14 years and how it has changed, now you have to be careful to not get hit by a motorcycle when your walking on the sidewalk! Not only that but the noise and air pollution etc. Then you have scammers that come from all over the world to operate in Pattaya! I recently was invited by some foreign investors who run an investment business. They offer you 7 to 10% on the amount of money you invest, $10,000 and up. The investments are based on real estate, condos and 5 star hotels, the couple of hotels they name are really 3 stars. Remember how many banks went bust in the USA, because of mortgagees! And the other thing that bothers me is this is the same percentage rate 7 / 10% Bernie Madoff offered when the banks weren’t even offering 1%. He’s serving the rest of his life in prison for his (Ponzi scheme)! And people lost their life savings! They even offer you free drinks, to try to get you to invest. If this Bernie Madoff was able to scam people in the US then Pattaya must be easy pickings! There is a saying that if something is too good to be true it probably is!

Michael

 

Dear Michael.

How pleased I am to see you are using the name your parents gave you, and not that awful contraction “Mike”. I have to say that I have never been approached by Bernie (should be Bernard) Madoff or by any other of the scammers you have been contacted by. Ah, I see now, my Petal, you have to give them $10,000 and they invest it. As I am having difficulty scraping together $10, they leave me alone. However, how do they know who to approach? $10,000 would be a fairly bulky parcel for when I go on my shopping sprees on the bicycle. I doubt whether the carrier would be big enough. How do they know it’s only groceries? Did a little digging and I found Madoff blew 65 billion dollars! That’s a lot of groceries!

 

Dear Hillary,

A few weeks ago you had someone complaining that the shops open too late. I’ve forgotten your answer Hillary, but the reason is the tired ATM’s don’t get up till mid-morning, and there’s no point in our lovely girls going to the shops without the ATM, is there?

Markus

 

Dear Markus,

You do have a point there, but some of our retired folk do get up early, then go for a jog and breakfast. They can go to the shops after that.

 

Dear Hillary,

Why don’t the girls in Pattaya wear stockings when they are out shopping? You see some gorgeous girls with great legs and they spoil it all by wearing flip flops. Lacy black stockings are so sexy and they don’t need to wear a garter belt any more as they have elastic tops.

George

 

Dear Gorgeous George,

You sound like a man of experience, or maybe you’re just a dirty old man (with experience), but you have to think a little further than elastic tops. That fashion is not for day wear but evenings and classy dinners and a show. And no, I do not own some lacy black stockings, so don’t get your hopes up.

 

Dear Hillary,

(Further to a letter two weeks ago engendering sympathy for bar girls and their fight to stay alive in their mosquito infested huts.)

The truth I am afraid is very far from that painted by the sympathetic writer above, most bar girls are not in the bar out of desperation they are there to earn quick and better money than they could earn working in a shop hotel factory etc. The vast majority of them are lazy and would never hold down a real job.

Far from being forced into it because they are desperate they are more likely into it because they cannot get up for work in the morning and want to sit around chatting with their mates and eating all day, of course there are others who are encouraged to go into it by their husband/boyfriends so that they can earn enough money to prevent the boyfriend/husband having to do an honest day’s work.

Chris

 

Dear Chris,

You do paint a rather gloomy picture, my Petal, and I am sure it isn’t as black as you are painting. Certainly, many (some?) don’t like getting up in the mornings but enjoy the lunchtime chats and chat shows. I also agree that many will earn far more than they could have working in a factory. But what would you rather do? Have friends to sit around the table, share a few beers, get dressed up for parties every evening, be bought drinks, shown off to his friends and spend the night in a far better room than your own room (the one that you share with three other bar girls)? The majority are lazy? There are some very hard working girls out there. Be kind and they will be kind to you.


Update Saturday October 14 - October 20, 2017

Dear Hillary,

I have noticed that all the girls in the bars all come out with the same small talk, “Where you come from? You have Thai wife? Buy me cola, Teerak. You pay bar for me?” Makes no difference what bar, they all come out with the same spiel. Do they teach small talk at school or what? Is it a special tutoring college they are in? Wondering

Get Rich Quick.

Dear Wondering,

Wonder no more my Petal, Hillary is going to let you in on a closely guarded secret. They all say the same things because they are all singing from the same hymn book if you like. The book they use is called “Get Rich Quick English for Bar Girls.” This very small book has all the answers and topics to lead the new bar girl straight to the Holy Grail (the foreigner’s wallet). The price on the cover is B. 135, though my informant said you can buy it for B. 50. Mind you, since there was no page with “How much for this book?” or the more expected “Buy me book Teerak” (substituting ‘book’ for ‘cola’) and she was still on page 2 of English vocabulary, this may not be the correct price.

Dear Hillary,

Are these bar girls as cash-strapped as they make out? Every one of them says they have no money (and often a broken heart as well), and that is why they want money from the customer, so they can send money to their mother who is looking after her child/children. If this is correct, what a disfunctional (sic) society they come from! Children grow up with a grandmother ‘mother’ and when she is old enough is sent to work in the bars so she can have a child and send money to the new offspring’s ‘grandmother’ who is really the girl’s ‘mother’. This is an old furfy that the parents do not know where the daughter is working in Pattaya and don’t ask questions as long as the money is going upstream. In the good old days a representative from the bars would visit the villages and bring the good looking ones back to the bar with her.

Wilson

 

Dear Wilson,

Just stop right there, Petal. You are not an expert in Thai families, and what you call “disfunctional” is spelled dysfunctional. Rule number 1, if you can’t spell it, don’t use it. I am glad to see that you mention the “good old days”, because things are different in the perhaps not-so-good days of right now. I don’t think you will find many talent scouts in the villages, with bars closing everywhere. Thais do value family above all else. You are obviously from a culture that does not value “family” in the same way. Rule number 2, if you don’t understand something do not comment on it as if you are the expert. Remembering the definition of expert – ‘ex’ is something that used to be and ‘spurt’ is a drip under pressure.

 

Dear Hillary,

Feast or famine it seems. I wrote you about 6 months ago because I just couldn’t find a lady that clicked for me. You gave me good advice Hillary and I just sat back and waited. I was just about to give up and join the local monastery when I started talking to one of the mothers at my daughter’s school. We both live locally, both divorced, she speaks good English and our daughters are in the same class. I’m not one for coincidences, but this was too much. I asked her out and we had a great night which led on to a strange situation where the daughters sleep over together at one house and we do the same at the other house. Have you ever met something similar after a year of nothing?

Greg

 

Dear Greg,

I am so pleased that Lady Luck has smiled on you, although the ménage a quatre is a little avant garde for me. I wonder just what the daughters think of all this. Whatever, life is for living so carpe diem and best of luck.


Update Saturday October 7 - October 13, 2017

Dear Hillary,

I read Marie’s letter to you with a smile (two weeks ago). She is not the only person - there have been numerous television documentaries shown in Europe portraying the shocking “goings on” in the Pattaya area where old men brazenly go out in the company of young women. What a sin to humanity! What they all fail to consider, is the reasons why this is happening.

In the West, when an older woman flirts with a younger man, she is seen as feisty, still full of life, and everyone wishes them good luck. But if an older man so much as glances at a younger woman, he is openly vilified as a “dirty old man” who is not entitled to have any sexual feelings. I am in my mid sixties and I have a loving, caring Thai wife, twenty years younger than me. When we went to visit the UK two years ago, the amount of hostile stares I received from women was amazing. I felt like going up to them and shouting “For god’s sake she is 43! Just because she looks after herself and she looks 10 years younger is not our fault. Unlike you, you over privileged, overfed, chain smoking bigot.”

So yes, we older men come to Thailand, where we can have the same rights to enjoy ourselves as everybody else and we can escape the anti old men bigotry we are subjected to in the West. I say to Marie the same as my wife often says to me “If you have a problem, first look to yourself.”

Peter

 

Dear Peter,

Some days I wonder where we are headed? Reading your letter, it obviously isn’t the UK. I honestly don’t know why we human beings have to be so judgmental. If 65 year old Jim has Noi, a 25 year old girlfriend when he comes here for holidays, whose business is that other than theirs? You have correctly called it “old men bigotry”, but you shouldn’t stop there my Petal. We human beings have a remarkable ability in the bigotry department, be that age, race, religion, tattoos or nose hairs. In fact we are so good at it we make laws banning descriptions of our fellow humans by any of the terms I just mentioned, or it is racial intolerance, or not “PC”. We have made jokes about age, race, religion, tattoos and nose hairs for hundreds of years. So just what is wrong with it? Have you heard the one about Ivor Legov, the one legged Lithuanian …

 

Dear Hillary,

We have to remember that the reason any of these jaded, morose and inexcusably naive chaps are in a Pattaya bar in the first place is that they are the ones who have zero social skills and came here because they couldn’t buy a prostitute’s time at home even offering double... let alone possess the personality configuration or maturity to ever have had the natural pleasure of any history or normal social contact with a woman in any situation ... or ever had a genuine girlfriend that didn’t come wrapped in plastic and brown paper. Ask around and you’ll find the bar seats filled with sex obsessed pathetically lonely losers and civilization’s rejects pushed by their astounding inadequacies onto the worlds fringes to wash up as human flotsam in a social sewer called Pattaya. I feel genuine sympathy for those impoverished starving girls who leave jungle villages and rice paddies with no choice other than having sex with a perverted, twisted lost wretch of a farang, unwanted and unloved in his own country, or watch her family slowly dying miserably in a mosquito infested shed.

 

Dear Mosquito Infested Shed,

Wow! A letter from someone who actually went right the way through school and uses his knowledge of A Level English to put a lovely letter together with allegories, similes and even metaphors. Oh the visions you have engendered with “flotsam in a social sewer called Pattaya.” And “impoverished starving girls … having sex with a perverted, twisted lost wretch of a farang.” But I ask, are you not being a trifle hard on the girls and the lost wretches? Regarding “choice” for example, what about SEVEn-11? My local (on both my street corners, looking at each other) gives me an airy greeting every time I set foot in the place, and they seem to have an endless line-up of young ladies with anti-mozzie sprays at the ready. Or are they all on one week contracts to CP-All?

Are all the farangs, who sit at a bar stool, sex obsessed and pathetically lonely losers? Come on, I must sound a trumpet call (or should that be strumpet call?) for all the bar stoolies in Pattaya. Some farangs, happily married, will drop in to the local pub for a pint on his way home, just as he used to do back in the UK at Little Muddling on the Marsh. Is there something basically unhealthy about this behavior? If nothing else it stops them dropping into the Post Office to pick up their girlfriend wrapped in plastic and brown paper. I am a little confused by this, but does it come with an electric pump (batteries not included)? By the way, you are getting a little awry with your apostrophes.

     


HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]

Update Saturday, Oct. 21 - Oct. 27, 2017

Update Saturday October 14 - October 20, 2017

Update Saturday October 7 - October 13, 2017

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