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Update December 2017

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Update by Natrakorn Paewsoongnern

Heart to Heart with Hillary


Saturday, Dec. 9 - Dec. 15, 2017

Dear Hillary,

I love your column and am amazed at the patience you have. I am an ex pat and live in Chiang Mai near the university. So, it is not the seedy part of town like Loi Kroh. How you put up with letters every week from idiots is beyond me. To all those who fall for lines from bar girls, I say good they deserve to get the wallets emptied. As a friend of mine (a former model in Los Angeles) said, Thailand is for those who could not get laid in their own countries. For all those idiots I have seen in bars bragging about the money they probably do not have, they just raise the prices for what they want and none of the girls cares whether the ‘Rolex’ they have is real. These idiots get what they deserve. As far as I am concerned, send them all to Pattaya!


Dear Peter,

You really are the milk of human kindness, aren’t you, my Petal. You make such sweeping accusations, and back up your assertions from a “former model in Los Angeles.” How that gives her (or maybe him) credibility, I do not know. Stop being so judgmental.


Dear Hillary,

You send guys with GF problems to look for a new one, instead of working through this one. You sent some poor chap to go looking for another girlfriend just because she borrowed some money from him and hasn’t paid him back yet. He gave the money and she’s been a bit slow. Have you asked if she had some difficult problems? No, you just sided with the fellow. Taking only one side in an argument is dangerous, Hillary. You should be more careful.


Dear Sam,

Are you trying to give me a warning, Sam? What do you want me to do with all the people needing my help? Say I’ll deal with the situation as soon as you get your girlfriend to contact me with your side of the story? Be real, Petal. This is a column for the lovelorn, not a marriage guidance clinic.


Dear Hillary,

I see that in Australia they have legalized euthanasia. Do you think this is a good idea?



Dear Victoria,

Whoa! This is way out of my league, and anyway I’m not old enough to even consider it. The only aspect I believe important is the Quality of Life in the person. But, honestly, this is not an avenue for this to be debated.


Dear Hillary,

Here’s the answer to half the problems on your page. If your GF wants money all the time, then don’t do it. If they leave then you know what it was they wanted above everything else, so why fret? Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.


Dear Harry,

You aren‘t a very romantic soul, are you! You are not describing a girlfriend, you are describing a maid. Big difference. Maids will go to the highest bidder. Girlfriends are someone who contributes something to the relationship. You have got the two confused, Petal. Stick with your maid plus extras until a woman comes along who sets your heart on fire, and you will understand the people who have written in to me.

Dear Hillary,

I asked a girl out from work as she always gave me great come-on smiles every time I would see her. I did it by SMS as I was a bit shy. After three days and hearing nothing I sent her another SMS and she replied saying it was her birthday and she would have to spend the time with her family, so sorry. What do you think, Hillary? Was she letting me down gently or should I try another SMS?


Dear Jack,

You are certainly a bit thick. If she wanted to go out with you she would have suggested a different day. You have mistaken a Thai smile shown to you for interest in you. Keep looking, but that one write down as experience.


Dear Hillary,

There’s been some letters to you about the Kid in the Candy store. As was pointed out, some foreigners never get over the candy store phase, but I think you will find that this is because they haven’t found the girl they really “clicked” with, so rather than become a crotchety old thing (I’m not pointing the finger at you, Hillary) they stay in the candy store, and I never hear many complaints. Have you heard of serial monogamy Hillary? That’s what this leads to.

Billy the Kid 

Dear Billy the Kid,

I am so glad you’ve got everything in your life mapped out so well. It’s because of generous souls like yourself that the candy stores can continue to trade. In the meantime a box of Maynard’s Wine Gums will be very satisfactory. Thank you my Petal. However, this cereal mahogany has me a little worried. Is this a breakfast cereal the candy store sells? With colored hundreds and thousands on the top?

Update Saturday, Dec. 2 - Dec. 8, 2017

Dear Hillary,

I started reading your e-letter reply to the many readers who are Farang Khon (sic). I was at Soi Honey in August and met a girl while having a drink. Incidentally, that day was her birthday and she showed me her ID to prove it though I did not asked for it. I am open to hearing anything. As it was unexpected, I did not have present at hand to give her. However, I took out some “Ngern” and put it in her hand and wish her Happy Birthday. I am touched by her sincerity. When I was at Suvarnabhumi Airport going back to India where I am presently station, I message her but somehow it didn’t get through due to connection problem. Two days later I tried texting again and she received my message. We are now good friend and I told her that one’s background is not an important criteria in friendship, but having a good heart matters more than anything else. In short, one must have a positive mind when visiting a foreign country and extend a helping hand to those who work honestly for a living to support their families in the provinces, be it Sa Keow, Issan or Rayong.


Dear Jaffery,

I think you should be very careful, Petal. What was your young lady doing in Soi Honey? She sounds very much like a professional chicken plucker to me, and you are ready to be plucked. What makes you so sure that the lady has a “good heart”? Do you usually accost someone in the street and say, “This is my birthday, and here’s my ID card to prove it.” And ready to accept a cash deposit in her hot little hand. Proceed carefully, Jaffery, and it is Khon farang, not the other way around.


Dear Hillary,

How many times do you get letters from tourists (and even long-stays) asking your advice on how to find the good girl who will look after them and be honest and true (even though all the others haven’t done it). I used to try and advise them, but I reckon these blokes get what they deserve. They’re here for sex, and the girls are in the business of sex for sale. They’ll never find their “good girl” there. Away from the bars, I reckon no self respecting girl would want to be seen with some fat old bloke wobbling along with a skinful of booze every night. You try telling ‘em, Hillary, I’ve given up. They’ve got no (expletive removed) idea.

Al the Advisor

Dear Al,

I understand where you’re coming from Petal, but if you want to be an advisor you’ve got to do more than throwing a bucket of warm manure over the people wanting advice. Once the average chap understands what the bars are for, and what the girls who work in the bars are there for, then you’re about half way there to finding someone who might be THE ONE and obviously not from the bar scene. The bars are for fun, not for evers. You are correct when you say that the chaps looking for a partner have to present themselves in a good way as well. No Thai lady is looking for the kind of farang you best know. Finding THE ONE is difficult in any society, in any country, and is no different here. Just keep on showing those who ask of you where they shouldn’t look, and you’ve done your bit, Al.


Dear Hillary,

I went to see the navy parade a couple of weekends ago with my Thai GF. She was all excited but I certainly wasn’t and when the rain came, it was a farce. You know how well Beach Road drains with the rain, so within 20 minutes it was half a meter deep and they had the navy blokes marching in it. Splashing was more like it. Surely City Hall had a fall-back route to take? It rains like this every year, it’s not like it was unexpected. They could have had them marching up dry Pattaya Klang and then into Second Road and back down through Hard Rock to Beach Road. Surely that would have been better. It was on the front page of (the national newspaper). The world must have laughed.


Dear “Admiral”,

And I’m quite sure you were never an Admiral. However, I suppose that the sailors would all have been used to getting their feet wet so shouldn’t have worried them, and any submarines would have been in their element. I’m sorry I haven’t got a direct line to City Hall, but I’m sure they know by now that marching in half a meter of water was not the smartest move.


HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]

Saturday, Dec. 9 - Dec. 15, 2017

Saturday, Dec. 2 - Dec. 8, 2017



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