Heart to Heart
Update Saturday, Oct. 21 - Oct. 27, 2017
I came back to Pattaya after 14 years and how it has
changed, now you have to be careful to not get hit by a motorcycle when your
walking on the sidewalk! Not only that but the noise and air pollution etc. Then
you have scammers that come from all over the world to operate in Pattaya! I
recently was invited by some foreign investors who run an investment business.
They offer you 7 to 10% on the amount of money you invest, $10,000 and up. The
investments are based on real estate, condos and 5 star hotels, the couple of
hotels they name are really 3 stars. Remember how many banks went bust in the
USA, because of mortgagees! And the other thing that bothers me is this is the
same percentage rate 7 / 10% Bernie Madoff offered when the banks weren’t even
offering 1%. He’s serving the rest of his life in prison for his (Ponzi scheme)!
And people lost their life savings! They even offer you free drinks, to try to
get you to invest. If this Bernie Madoff was able to scam people in the US then
Pattaya must be easy pickings! There is a saying that if something is too good
to be true it probably is!
How pleased I am to see you are using the name your
parents gave you, and not that awful contraction “Mike”. I have to say that I
have never been approached by Bernie (should be Bernard) Madoff or by any other
of the scammers you have been contacted by. Ah, I see now, my Petal, you have to
give them $10,000 and they invest it. As I am having difficulty scraping
together $10, they leave me alone. However, how do they know who to approach?
$10,000 would be a fairly bulky parcel for when I go on my shopping sprees on
the bicycle. I doubt whether the carrier would be big enough. How do they know
it’s only groceries? Did a little digging and I found Madoff blew 65 billion
dollars! That’s a lot of groceries!
A few weeks ago you had someone complaining that the shops
open too late. I’ve forgotten your answer Hillary, but the reason is the tired
ATM’s don’t get up till mid-morning, and there’s no point in our lovely girls
going to the shops without the ATM, is there?
You do have a point there, but some of our retired folk
do get up early, then go for a jog and breakfast. They can go to the shops after
Why don’t the girls in Pattaya wear stockings when they are
out shopping? You see some gorgeous girls with great legs and they spoil it all
by wearing flip flops. Lacy black stockings are so sexy and they don’t need to
wear a garter belt any more as they have elastic tops.
Dear Gorgeous George,
You sound like a man of experience, or maybe you’re just
a dirty old man (with experience), but you have to think a little further than
elastic tops. That fashion is not for day wear but evenings and classy dinners
and a show. And no, I do not own some lacy black stockings, so don’t get your
(Further to a letter two weeks ago engendering sympathy for
bar girls and their fight to stay alive in their mosquito infested huts.)
The truth I am afraid is very far from that painted by the
sympathetic writer above, most bar girls are not in the bar out of desperation
they are there to earn quick and better money than they could earn working in a
shop hotel factory etc. The vast majority of them are lazy and would never hold
down a real job.
Far from being forced into it because they are desperate
they are more likely into it because they cannot get up for work in the morning
and want to sit around chatting with their mates and eating all day, of course
there are others who are encouraged to go into it by their husband/boyfriends so
that they can earn enough money to prevent the boyfriend/husband having to do an
honest day’s work.
You do paint a rather gloomy picture, my Petal, and I am
sure it isn’t as black as you are painting. Certainly, many (some?) don’t like
getting up in the mornings but enjoy the lunchtime chats and chat shows. I also
agree that many will earn far more than they could have working in a factory.
But what would you rather do? Have friends to sit around the table, share a few
beers, get dressed up for parties every evening, be bought drinks, shown off to
his friends and spend the night in a far better room than your own room (the one
that you share with three other bar girls)? The majority are lazy? There are
some very hard working girls out there. Be kind and they will be kind to you.
Update Saturday October 14 - October 20, 2017
I have noticed that all the girls in the
bars all come out with the same small talk, “Where you come from? You have
Thai wife? Buy me cola, Teerak. You pay bar for me?” Makes no difference
what bar, they all come out with the same spiel. Do they teach small talk at
school or what? Is it a special tutoring college they are in? Wondering
Wonder no more my Petal, Hillary is
going to let you in on a closely guarded secret. They all say the same
things because they are all singing from the same hymn book if you like. The
book they use is called “Get Rich Quick English for Bar Girls.” This very
small book has all the answers and topics to lead the new bar girl straight
to the Holy Grail (the foreigner’s wallet). The price on the cover is B.
135, though my informant said you can buy it for B. 50. Mind you, since
there was no page with “How much for this book?” or the more expected “Buy
me book Teerak” (substituting ‘book’ for ‘cola’) and she was still on page 2
of English vocabulary, this may not be the correct price.
Are these bar girls as cash-strapped as
they make out? Every one of them says they have no money (and often a broken
heart as well), and that is why they want money from the customer, so they
can send money to their mother who is looking after her child/children. If
this is correct, what a disfunctional (sic) society they come from!
Children grow up with a grandmother ‘mother’ and when she is old enough is
sent to work in the bars so she can have a child and send money to the new
offspring’s ‘grandmother’ who is really the girl’s ‘mother’. This is an old
furfy that the parents do not know where the daughter is working in Pattaya
and don’t ask questions as long as the money is going upstream. In the good
old days a representative from the bars would visit the villages and bring
the good looking ones back to the bar with her.
Just stop right there, Petal. You are
not an expert in Thai families, and what you call “disfunctional” is spelled
dysfunctional. Rule number 1, if you can’t spell it, don’t use it. I am glad
to see that you mention the “good old days”, because things are different in
the perhaps not-so-good days of right now. I don’t think you will find many
talent scouts in the villages, with bars closing everywhere. Thais do value
family above all else. You are obviously from a culture that does not value
“family” in the same way. Rule number 2, if you don’t understand something
do not comment on it as if you are the expert. Remembering the definition of
expert – ‘ex’ is something that used to be and ‘spurt’ is a drip under
Feast or famine it seems. I wrote you
about 6 months ago because I just couldn’t find a lady that clicked for me.
You gave me good advice Hillary and I just sat back and waited. I was just
about to give up and join the local monastery when I started talking to one
of the mothers at my daughter’s school. We both live locally, both divorced,
she speaks good English and our daughters are in the same class. I’m not one
for coincidences, but this was too much. I asked her out and we had a great
night which led on to a strange situation where the daughters sleep over
together at one house and we do the same at the other house. Have you ever
met something similar after a year of nothing?
I am so pleased that Lady Luck has
smiled on you, although the ménage a quatre is a little avant garde for me.
I wonder just what the daughters think of all this. Whatever, life is for
living so carpe diem and best of luck.
Update Saturday October 7 - October 13, 2017
I read Marie’s letter to
you with a smile (two weeks ago). She is not the only person - there have been
numerous television documentaries shown in Europe portraying the shocking
“goings on” in the Pattaya area where old men brazenly go out in the company of
young women. What a sin to humanity! What they all fail to consider, is the
reasons why this is happening.
In the West, when an older
woman flirts with a younger man, she is seen as feisty, still full of life, and
everyone wishes them good luck. But if an older man so much as glances at a
younger woman, he is openly vilified as a “dirty old man” who is not entitled to
have any sexual feelings. I am in my mid sixties and I have a loving, caring
Thai wife, twenty years younger than me. When we went to visit the UK two years
ago, the amount of hostile stares I received from women was amazing. I felt like
going up to them and shouting “For god’s sake she is 43! Just because she looks
after herself and she looks 10 years younger is not our fault. Unlike you, you
over privileged, overfed, chain smoking bigot.”
So yes, we older men come
to Thailand, where we can have the same rights to enjoy ourselves as everybody
else and we can escape the anti old men bigotry we are subjected to in the West.
I say to Marie the same as my wife often says to me “If you have a problem,
first look to yourself.”
Some days I wonder where
we are headed? Reading your letter, it obviously isn’t the UK. I honestly don’t
know why we human beings have to be so judgmental. If 65 year old Jim has Noi, a
25 year old girlfriend when he comes here for holidays, whose business is that
other than theirs? You have correctly called it “old men bigotry”, but you
shouldn’t stop there my Petal. We human beings have a remarkable ability in the
bigotry department, be that age, race, religion, tattoos or nose hairs. In fact
we are so good at it we make laws banning descriptions of our fellow humans by
any of the terms I just mentioned, or it is racial intolerance, or not “PC”. We
have made jokes about age, race, religion, tattoos and nose hairs for hundreds
of years. So just what is wrong with it? Have you heard the one about Ivor
Legov, the one legged Lithuanian …
We have to remember that
the reason any of these jaded, morose and inexcusably naive chaps are in a
Pattaya bar in the first place is that they are the ones who have zero social
skills and came here because they couldn’t buy a prostitute’s time at home even
offering double... let alone possess the personality configuration or maturity
to ever have had the natural pleasure of any history or normal social contact
with a woman in any situation ... or ever had a genuine girlfriend that didn’t
come wrapped in plastic and brown paper. Ask around and you’ll find the bar
seats filled with sex obsessed pathetically lonely losers and civilization’s
rejects pushed by their astounding inadequacies onto the worlds fringes to wash
up as human flotsam in a social sewer called Pattaya. I feel genuine sympathy
for those impoverished starving girls who leave jungle villages and rice paddies
with no choice other than having sex with a perverted, twisted lost wretch of a
farang, unwanted and unloved in his own country, or watch her family slowly
dying miserably in a mosquito infested shed.
Dear Mosquito Infested
Wow! A letter from
someone who actually went right the way through school and uses his knowledge of
A Level English to put a lovely letter together with allegories, similes and
even metaphors. Oh the visions you have engendered with “flotsam in a social
sewer called Pattaya.” And “impoverished starving girls … having sex with a
perverted, twisted lost wretch of a farang.” But I ask, are you not being a
trifle hard on the girls and the lost wretches? Regarding “choice” for example,
what about SEVEn-11? My local (on both my street corners, looking at each other)
gives me an airy greeting every time I set foot in the place, and they seem to
have an endless line-up of young ladies with anti-mozzie sprays at the ready. Or
are they all on one week contracts to CP-All?
Are all the farangs, who
sit at a bar stool, sex obsessed and pathetically lonely losers? Come on, I must
sound a trumpet call (or should that be strumpet call?) for all the bar stoolies
in Pattaya. Some farangs, happily married, will drop in to the local pub for a
pint on his way home, just as he used to do back in the UK at Little Muddling on
the Marsh. Is there something basically unhealthy about this behavior? If
nothing else it stops them dropping into the Post Office to pick up their
girlfriend wrapped in plastic and brown paper. I am a little confused by this,
but does it come with an electric pump (batteries not included)? By the way, you
are getting a little awry with your apostrophes.