Heart to Heart
We had a highly efficient hard working
manager of our condo building. She would be at paperwork nights and overtime on
weekends. She was an excellent employee of an overlord national Thai management
company. One of the Walking Street Buffoons came to me (I was on committee)
saying she was “no different from any other whore out there” as he had seen her
at the clubs. Of course “the male whore” did not think to apply the same
appellation to himself.
What she does for recreation, husband
hunting, or money is no one’s business. The typical “Pattaya Addict” is a
multiple failure at relationships/marriages in their own country. They can
neither change nor rediscover their humanity. Many of them are dysfunctional
crazies. They are creatures to be pitied more than anything else and are
fortunate for the company of a companion for pay.
Ooohhh, that’s an acid tongue you have
this morning, my Petal. I do agree that whatever a person does in their own
time, is their own business and nobody else’s. But while you are ready to spring
to the rights of the Pattaya ladies, you are not spreading that advice to cover
the males here. Is the “Pattaya Addict” really that bad? Perhaps they are happy
paying for a companion for the evening, without the hassles of being told to put
out the rubbish and the dog’s pooped on the carpet. As you say, “they can
neither change nor rediscover their humanity.” But do they want to?
Did you know Hillary, the first name of
your favorite beverage translates to “Widow”?
So you are good at French are you, Don?
Yes, Widow Clicquot was a remarkable woman (16 December 1777 – 29 July 1866).
Known as the “Grand Dame of Champagne”, she was a French businesswoman who took
on her husband’s wine business when widowed at 27. Under her ownership, and her
skill with wine, the company developed early champagne using a novel technique.
The brand and company of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin still bears her name, and is
drunk by Hillary as its major recommendation.
She is not to be confused with Madame
Bollinger who reputedly said, “Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone. When I have
company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink
it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it - unless I’m thirsty.”
Don, darling, just leave the bottle for
me at the Pattaya Mail office, clearly marked “FOR HILLARY” otherwise the
messenger will claim it. That’s a very sweet Petal.
I examined my wine room and discovered 89
bottles of Veuve Clicquot!
Dear Don (again),
If I didn’t know you were an inveterate
liar, I would have been right over and been yours for 89 days (I didn’t say
‘nights’)! I also know, from personal experience, that 7-Eleven doesn’t sell any
champagnes, and I’m sorry, Mont Clair Sparkling doesn’t cut it.
You were asked where to buy diamonds - Yes
Hatton Garden in London... Definitely NOT Thailand.
Thank you for the timely advice, so that
people who have bought diamonds here don’t go and deposit them in Hatton Garden.
A brief perusal of the British Daily Mail revealed news of a heist on Easter
last year with the huge amount of goods stolen. Valuables worth up to
£14million, including gold, diamonds and sapphires were taken.
Two-thirds of them remain unrecovered.
The gang - who have been described as
‘analogue criminals in a digital age’ - were tracked down due to a series of
mistakes, including one of them using his own car during the heist.
Following a painstaking investigation in
which a surveillance operation caught three of the ringleaders bragging about
the raid in a north London pub, the group were arrested.
And what’s more, they were all
pensioners. But fancy bragging about it in their local pub. I’m never going to
listen in to conversations around the Jameson’s Nova table again!
If you want to read more, go to
You had a chap wondering if he should take
the “big step” and let his casual GF move in with him. She has a shop he says so
he has already worked out that she gets a double income if she arrives on the
doorstep with toothbrush in hand. So what’s stopping him? Looks like a win-win
situation to me.
Oh what wimpy people we are breeding
these days! I think the guy is not ready for a live-in relationship, but she is
the smart one and as you say, it all becomes a rent free double income for her.
All he has to do now is to get an agreement signed so that she knows her income
from the shop is hers, and his income from his work (or pension) is his. Then
they decide how much he will give her for being a live-in lover. This then
becomes a simple financial transaction, which is what she wants, and he is
afraid of. As I advised before, he is not ready for any form of commitment.
I just had “short time” with best looking girl I had since I came here a
year ago. Smart girl. She watch TV during the act. To my question she
respond, as I said to you before, that she and all the bar hooker all hate
men and hate sex extreamly (sic). But they have to buy food for their baby
for their mama and for themselves (sic). After convincing her that I will
never date bar girl she said that there are a lot of fools who date bar girl
and milk them for a lot of money. Not just salary they get they also go to
shopping center with their boyfriends every day since it’s the best place to
hang out with good air condition and shopping. There (sic) the (sic) make
their boyfriend buy them everything from clothes to shoes and accessories.
And in the night they use all kind of tricks to avoid sex. Usually “very
tired” to headache and stomach ache to period and so on. All that come (sic)
from a mouth of a miserable hooker not a “happy hooker”.
Why do I think you are not someone who is looking dispassionately at the
world around him, but rather someone with burned fingers and a desire to get
back at all bar girls that he presumes are “hookers”? I’m sorry, but you are
not bringing earth shattering news to the male population at large. I’ve
seen all this before, my Petal, and so have the readers. And the fact that
you could still perform while your bed partner watched TV shows how much of
a desperado you really are. Part of me feels sorry for you, but that doesn’t
last very long. Time for you to get a life and be thankful that the next
sucker to be bled dry is someone else, and not you anymore. (This
conversation is now closed.)
Further to your protestations regarding impending matrimonial bliss at the
Pattaya Mail, “So, we have determined the kind of girl you are and we are
only discussing price? ;-)”
How dare you! You must have surely realized I have been saving myself for
that ‘special’ man who will come my way, and it’s not the dreadful Nairod,
nor is it the equally appalling George (letter above yours). I do not expect
a dowry or any other type of bride price – after all what would I do with
two buffalo in Thepprasit Road? Be real Robert.
Seems like every holiday there are people who claim that their vacation has
been ruined because they couldn’t drink for a day. If you can’t go a day
with no liquor without it ruining things for you, you have a lot bigger
problem than wine for dinner.
(I still get a kick out of responding “Dear John” as I don’t get much
opportunity for “Dear John” letters anymore!) Now to this alcohol problem of
yours. You are correct that it isn’t a good sign if you can’t make 24 hours
without a tipple. You must have heard the old joke, “What’s the difference
between a drunk and an alcoholic? Answer: alcoholics have to go to the
meetings.” (And I know the joke is probably not PC, but everyone should be
able to look a little lightheartedly at life.) But going back to the start
of this, if the alcohol you are missing is really under the terminology of
plonk, then you probably do need a daily shot, so keep a bottle or two for
emergencies. But if you’re like me and have to hang out for Veuve Clicquot
(even NV will do, Petal) you learn to curb the cravings.
My Thai boy friend gives in to his family at all times, and now we are an
item, the demands are coming in every day, even if it is personal items of
jewelry that I have given him. These items get changed into folding money,
only problem is that it is my money that he is doling out, not his. And it’s
not just a few hundred baht here and there, it’s by the few thousand here
and there. I believe that it is the custom in Thailand that children look
after their parents, as a matter of duty. I did not know that this covers a
grasping avariciousness by the family towards the children. Is this the norm
for this country? It seems that the family condones this behavior, and even
Duty to one’s parents is a well documented part of Thai culture, but how
that is applied is not clearly stated. You are obviously worrying because
your finances are part of all this, so you should perhaps consider that you
have a duty to your bank account, and not to your boyfriend’s parents.
However, once you give something to your boyfriend, it is his decision what
he does with it. There are many families that are not so avaricious. Petal,
the choice is always yours. I think you should seriously review this
relationship. From what you are saying, it all seems a little one-sided to
Last week you mentioned “sideline” girls as if they are
some sort of different species, so there’s bar girls, sideline girls and
“good” girls. Correct? You will have to help me here, Hillary. How do I find
the different ones? Or is there any real differences? There’s a big
responsibility on you here, Hillary. Lots of men in Pattaya will be
directing their future direction in life depending on your answer.
You men certainly make things difficult for
yourselves, don’t you, my Petal. Why is it so important that you put your
latest girlfriend into one of these three categories? Looks to me like
finding witches in the middle ages. Dunk the poor woman in water and if she
doesn’t drown then she’s a witch. If she does drown, it shows that she
wasn’t a witch after all. But fat lot of good that did for the non-witch who
was dead by then! However, to make it easier for you, here is the guaranteed
Hillary’s Guide to Thai Girls. This guide should be understood before going
into the next category up. Starting at the lower end – Bar Girls. Apply the
British Standard Duck test here – if it looks like a duck, swims like a
duck, quacks like a duck, then it most probably is a duck. A bar girl will
go to bed with you after you pay the bar fine (Mamasan will advise here).
She will also want a plate of noodles that night and then scarper with the
first chink of light (after the agreed fee for services rendered). Her main
job is to work in the bar and get you to buy them copious drinks.
The sideliners are a little different. Their day job
is to work in the shop and afterwards get you to take them to an expensive
dinner in lieu of a bar fine. They will expect the equivalent of the bar
girl’s fee in the morning for servicing and they too will scarper, as they
have to get to the office/shop in the morning.
Now the “good girls”. Petal, you and your mates
outside the 7-Eleven don’t need to worry about this category, unless your
surname is “Na something” and you went to the best schools and your parents
know her parents. Graduating from the 7-Eleven academy is not quite select
So there you are, Petals. There’s only two
categories available to you. Both of them will be economical with the truth
and both will cost you money! Helpful hint – you can pick up and put down a
bar girl at will. The sideliners tend to be more “clingy”. As we say here,
“Up to you, Teerak.”
I recently visited the UK for a few days and when I
returned found my key would not open the front door. I rang the bell and
this man came to the door and told me, in no uncertain terms to eff off.
When I told him this was my house he said it wasn’t as it is now in Nok’s
name and he will call the police if I pester them again. He said the same
applied to my car. I know my Nok, who he would not let me see, would not do
this to me without being in some way forced to.
Anyway, since then I have seen a For Sale sign at the
house, and on my other one that I also put in her name. I am happy this is
Nok’s way of making sure I do not lose out financially and will give me the
proceeds when both are sold because I know she truly loves me.
Do you think I should stop her allowance and
discontinue sending her family 50,000 baht a month? I do not want her to
suffer any hardships because of this bad man, but a little guidance would be
appreciated. Sorry I can’t afford chocs or bubbly right now.
I could be crass and say that “opportunity only
‘Noks’ once” and I think your little cash-rich cashier has responded to the
It is time you went to see one of the nice glasses
dispensaries around town and get your rose-colored lenses changed for clear
ones. Sorry, but your angel Nok will not return to you bearing large parcels
of cash from house sales. That notion you should get rid of immediately. If
you ever do see her again, it will not be a pleasant meeting.
You ask whether you should “stop her allowance and
discontinue sending her family 50,000 baht a month.” That’s about the first
bit of real sense so far. When you are so hard up that you cannot even offer
me some chocolates and fizz, why would you even contemplate sending 50,000
baht to her family, plus goodness knows what you have been sending to her!
Do you realize, my Petal, just how much chocolate and champagne you can buy
with 50,000 baht? And I’m talking the good stuff here – Belgian chocs and
French fizzwater. And every month too! Oh dearie, dearie me. Why don’t I
meet such bewildered buffoons before they throw all their money away? There
is a famous quotation, which states that there’s a fool born every minute.
You are living proof!
Is this correct that you are going to get married? Please
stop the ceremony right now. The man’s a wastrel. This is not the first time he
has attempted to seduce you with offers, financial and otherwise. I can
understand your getting lonely, but don’t let your previous high standards slip.
Concerned of Rong Po
Dear Concerned of Rong Po,
No need to worry Petal, though I do thank you for your
concerns. I remember him making fun of my favorite floral dress some years back,
and he doesn’t improve with age, either. Not even champagne and chocolates will
sway me (though a Veuve Clicquot could go close).
I just came from “Festival Center” and noticed an old ugly
bench back man argue with his young Thai “girlfriend” at an expensive jewelry
booth. She was pointing at very expensive diamonds ring and he try with a slight
force to pull her away. He probably pay her huge salary because here the older
and uglier you are the higher the salary is so he think he pays her enough not
to mention the two shopping bags she already carry on her left arm. My point is
we the Farangs don’t care (I do) sometimes how much we pay but we all hate very
much to be taken out for a fool.
Why do I get the distinct impression that you are
talking about yourself, being ripped off by a gorgeous Thai girl, that you
thought was a “girlfriend”, despite a hefty “salary”, though what is a lot for
some people is merely nothing relatively. All I can suggest for you is to stop
going to “Festival Center” and hanging around young Thai ladies who are window
shopping. For all you know, she might have been going to buy him an expensive
diamond ring! Then again a squadron of pigs just went by overhead…
I am seriously looking at investing in some diamond
jewelry, but with so many shops I don’t know where to start. Can you recommend a
Firstly, I don’t have any diamond jewelry, so have no
idea about prices, Petal. Secondly, I don’t have one of Gideon’s rich Farangs in
the middle of being ripped off (see letter above yours), and thirdly, I am told
by those who do know these things, that you should not invest in diamonds unless
you really know what to look for, and it isn’t the price tag. And I do remember
a street trader in Walking Street advertising “Genuine Cubic Zirconias”. Looked
I’ve met this girl who has a very small dress shop in one
of the malls. Got chatting and asked her out for a beer. English isn’t bad and
we’ve done the dinner thingy. What’s the next step? I take it that this is the
sort of “good girl” you talk about. I don’t want to rush her into anything, and
she seems to make a reasonable living out of her shop. I’m worried that if I
suggest she moves in with me that she would give up her shop and I would be
expected to make up the shortfall. She says she would be quite happy moving in,
but now I’m not so sure. Take the big step or what?
If you think it’s a big step, then you’re not ready for
it, Petal. Looks to me that your “good girl” may be a “sideliner”, where extra
income can be made on the side. You would be making up the shortfall both from
the shop and the sideline. Time for you to let things settle and when you have a
better understanding of this girl make some decisions. I repeat, do not tackle
the big step.
I have been with this one woman for about six years. She
was a pretty little thing and I was always happy to be seen with her, but when I
came back this time after six weeks in the sand box, she’s turned into a fat
toad. I don’t want to be seen with her in case people start to feel sorry for
me. What’s my options?
You have many options, Petal. You can cut and run,
leaving everything you collected in the past six years. You can ignore the
weight gain, but hide all cameras. Or the best way – tell her how much you loved
her when she was a little petite lady, and can she go on a diet to get down to
her original weight again? She will either cut up your trousers (be careful if
you’re wearing them at the time), or physically throw you out, or point out your
beer belly. That’s about it, Sandy. You made your bed, now you have to lie in
it. I’m sure she didn’t put on all that weight in six weeks, did she now?.